Evangola
by PJCSmith72
Summary: Rated: M – A/U Modern setting, SEXUALLY EXPLICIT scenes, M/M, violence, romance, past loss of family, past violence; Alternate Universe set in the 1960's; a young Agron and Nasir meet and experience the intensity of attraction, falling in love in a culture that does not easily accept them, and the impact of profound loss and how it shapes the men they evolve to be.
1. Chapter 1

**Evangola Summary:**

Alternate Universe set in the 1960's; a young Agron and Nasir meet and experience the intensity of attraction, falling in love in a culture that does not easily accept them, and the impact of profound loss and how it shapes the men they evolve to be.

Spartacus TV Series: Agron, Nasir, various other cannon characters, non-cannon characters

Rated: M – A/U Modern setting, Sexually Explicit, M/M, violence, romance, past loss of family, past violence

**Notes**:

Here is the first chapter about the "boys" Agron and Nasir. I have chosen a small town in upstate New York as the setting for this story. My interpretation of this setting is that small towns allow for a social intimacy that encourages and facilitates relationships and self discovery. Nasir's adoptive name is Nathan.

See more Notes at the end of the chapter.

**Chapter 1 – Beginning**

April 24, 1965 Location: Small town on Saturday night, dance at the CYO hall – first Saturday after Easter

The two young men had caught each other's eye early in the evening and each continued to sneak glances following the other around the dance hall, even when they were slow dancing with their dates. Nathan noticed how Agron was dressed, so cool in black slacks, white shirt opened two buttons at the neck, dark leather jacket and boots. He had an ID bracelet on his left wrist and St. Christopher metal around his neck on a silver chain. Agron's dark blonde hair is bit longer than most wore theirs and his eyes were electric and sea green in color. Nathan admired Agron's obvious confidence and casual demeanor; he was in control and you could tell just by looking at him. Nathan wishing he possessed the same. Nathan had agonized over what to wear to the dance. He had settled on his standard 'uniform' a light blue shirt and dark blue slacks, brown leather loafers sans the penny inserts. His own dark hair was close cut – parents wouldn't let him grow it any longer. No bracelet. No metal. Just a reversible brown-black belt with a monogram belt buckle; all he thought was "Ugh."

Agron felt a pang of excitement when he first saw Nathan had come to the CYO dance; he was the reason why Agron had come himself; he didn't typically attend these dances. Agron had first noticed Nathan at school several weeks ago. He watched the dark haired young man with interest. Unlike Agron who favored more contact sports like football and basketball, Nathan was a baseball player and cross-country skier. Agron had recently seen him on the practice field and quickly observed that Nathan was quite talented with a strong arm, accurate throw and fast on his feet. That explained why this guy was first string on the Varsity team. Agron had also noticed that Nathan had taken time to coach a Junior Varsity player who was having difficulty with his swing. Varsity players didn't typically take time with JV players. From that day on Agron took notice of who Nathan talked with while walking down the hall and who he ate lunch with. Nathan had a generous soft smile. He didn't dismiss anyone. He helped anyone who asked and even those who did not ask but still needed assistance. Agron had also noticed that it seemed as though most people knew Nathan as they were always giving him hellos and nods of the head in recognition. Agron was inexplicably drawn to the young man and even found Nathan on his thoughts sometimes. After a time, began to search for a way to meet him.

Nathan went to the refreshment window to get a soda. He heard a voice speaking in quiet tones close at his ear while he was awaiting the attendant. The voice had a low timber and Nathan did not recognize who it was. He slowly turned his head and saw Agron grinning back at him. He knew who Agron was but they had never actually met. From what Nathan knew about him, Agron seemed like an OK guy, edgier than Nathan was but not from a gang, no reputation for getting in to trouble.

"I saw you at practice the other day. You're quite good, you know" were Agron's spoken words yet his face showed something a bit deeper in his expression.

"How about some fresh air and joining me for a cigarette?" he asked. Agron continued speaking and even pursued gentle prodding. Nathan was captured in the man's smile and couldn't bring himself to breakaway; he felt an unexplained urge to reach out and touch; he shook his head slightly as if trying to make the instinct go away.

To his own surprise, Nathan agreed to leave with Agron. They each went to their respective friend group and made their excuses, assuring their dates they would be back shortly.

Once out the front door of the Hall, Agron sprinted across the street, through the grass lawns between the houses and dodged to his left behind a garage. Nathan, watching Agron as he took off, was surprised and initially hesitated. Then, spontaneously, Nathan also ran, following Agron's lead. As he rounded the edge of the garage, he stopped, looking in to the darkness for the intriguing young man. Breathless from the sprint as well as the excitement of the unknown, Nathan spotted Agron standing in the shadows, locating him from the Zippo flame finishing off the red ember at the tip of a cigarette. Nathan put his hands in his pockets in an attempt to seem casual, slowly walked and stood next to Agron.

They introduced themselves by stating simply "Agron." "Nathan." Both young men leaned against the building, remaining in the shadows. Intermittent small talk ensued – about the school baseball team, the LA Dodgers chances at a pennant, the dance, the quality of the music, a local group of guys had formed a band and was going to pay some stuff at 9pm, anything to mask their mutual nervousness and help contain the internal excitement they individually felt.

With practiced movement, Agron blunted out his cigarette against the garage's cinder block and placed the remaining portion in his pocket. With his eyes adjusted to the dark now, Nathan was watching Agron, fully mesmerized by the young man. Agron turned slowly and faced Nathan. He then placed his left palm on the wall next to Nathan's right shoulder. Nathan raised his dark eyes to Agron's, questioning the reason for Agron's movement. Agron then leaned in and placed his face along side of Nathan's, not quite touching but close enough for Nathan to feel Agron's breath upon his neck and cheek. Nathan's heart started to race, at once terrified of Agron's closeness and at the same time not wanting Agron to pull away.

"Are you okay with this" Agron asked in a voice barely above a whisper. Nathan closed his eyes, listened to his heart thud against his chest wall and could not speak at first, his breath coming rapidly now.

After some moments Nathan replied "Okay with what?" when he at last found his voice. Agron slowly moved his right hand and grazed Nathan's belt buckle. Nathan's breath hitched.

Agron's hand then gently stroked the front of Nathan's slacks. "What about this?" Agron said in a voice that had become husky.

Innately Nathan understood what was happening between them, not the technicality of it but the essence. What he didn't understand was why it was so exciting. Why wasn't he appalled? Why didn't he pull away and punch the guy?

Instead Nathan said with a halting voice "Agron, I don't…I haven't..." Agron quietly hushed him, pressing his cheek against Nathan's.

"Let me" was all Agron said. With one hand, he unbuckled Nathan's belt, unsnapped the clasp and slowly pulled down the zipper.

Without thinking Nathan succumbed to his touch, keening forward into Agron, his forehead coming to rest on Agron's shoulder, his eyes still closed, his heart racing, his breathe deep. Agron slid his hand between Nathan's slacks and his underwear. He began stroking Nathan through the fabric. Nathan's excitement was obvious from his erection becoming firmer with each stroke. Without realizing he had done it, Nathan had reached out and was now holding on to Agron's hips with firm grasp.

"Oh God, Agron" Nathan moaned into Agron's neck, breathing in Agron's scent, a mixture of soap, light tobacco, leather and something undefined. He was intoxicated by him; Nathan's body responded without mindful direction, he wanted what was happening. He wanted Agron close, to keep touching him.

Agron pressed his lips close to Nathan's ear. "It's OK, you can come." His words, his voice so low and sensual, were like an aphrodisiac to Nathan. Agron continued to stroke him with more direction and more power.

Nathan soon was overwhelmed and gasping, unable to contain himself any longer. Nathan's finish came like an explosion as he muffled a cry into the space between Agron's shoulder and neck. His body was shaking and spent as he held on to Agron.

With his free hand, Agron stroked the back of Nathan's head, whispered his name, making certain that he was alright. Agron held him and gently pushed Nathan back a half step to lean against the wall so he wouldn't fall down. When he had regained some composure, Nathan lifted his head, opening his eyes as he breathed the cool night air in deeply.

"Agron… why?" was all he could ask. Agron's sure hands had begun to put Nathan's clothing back together.

Without immediately looking up Agron replied "I've seen you several times at school, at ball practice. I'm drawn to you. The way you are with people fascinates me."

Still not understanding, again Nathan asked "But why this…here…now?"

With this question Agron raised his eyes to meet Nathan's. "I'm not sure, I was driven…Because I like you; because I needed to touch you."

Nathan still didn't understand. "Agron, how did you know that this would be OK with me? I didn't, I haven't done anything like this with anyone, not even a girl."

Agron smiled softly and replied "Well, I didn't really know. After I saw you tonight I needed to take a chance."

After a few moments Agron continued, "We really need to get back now. We'll talk soon. Come on." Nathan's body was almost back to normal and his head had cleared but his thoughts were racing now. Agron re-lit the remainder of his cigarette and handed it to Nathan.

Nathan shook his head slightly and responded "I don't smoke."

Agron replied "Now you do. Take a few puffs, otherwise how do we explain why we left?" Nathan quickly took his meaning and took a drag off the cigarette, coughing. Agron laughed and patted Nathan on the back.

"There is so much I have to teach you. Let's go."

The remainder of the evening seemed like some kind of a weird dream, not bad weird thought Nathan, just weird. Agron and Nathan separated and returned to their dates when the got back to the hall. The local band was part-way into their set. They weren't half bad, either. Nathan went to get a fresh soda for his date in attempt to appease her since he had been gone so long and had returned smelling of cigarettes. Trying to be inconspicuous Nathan kept an eye out for Agron to no avail. Re-playing the scene behind the garage again and again in his head, he kept asking himself what really happened.

By 10:30 pm drivers were starting to gather outside in cars picking up their teenagers. There was laughter and talking everywhere. Suddenly a hand was on Nathan's shoulder. Agron was next to him, slipping a piece of paper into his hand.

"Here is my number. Give me a call tomorrow if you want to talk." Then he was gone, along with his date, into a big older model Chevy with a woman at the wheel.

Nathan slipped the paper into his pocket and looked out for his father's car. His father wasn't usually early or even on time so Nathan went back inside and found Linda. They helped the dance committee with the clean-up and soon he heard the familiar car horn. Nathan and Linda grabbed their coats and were off. They dropped Linda off, his father waiting indulgently for Nathan to walk her to the door and gave her a goodnight kiss. Nathan's heart wasn't in it and while he hoped that Linda didn't notice, he was certain that she did. Nathan feigned sleepiness to avoid answering hid father's usual questions about the dance and, specifically, about how were things with Linda. Nathan just wanted to get home and be alone to think.

Once he was home and safely sequestered in his room, Nathan sat on the edge of his bed trying to make sense out of what had happened between him and Agron. Nathan grabbed the bed pillow and hugged it tight; he had never suspected that he was queer. He had never heard anyone say anything about Agron being queer either. Guys always talked, speculated. What was Nathan to think after what had happened? Oh my God, he thought, what did Agron mean by saying he liked him and he wanted to touch him?

Everyone wanted sex but most guys were more talk than action. Guys usually thought about sex with girls, didn't they? Nathan had gotten to second base and part-way to third base with Linda. It had been exciting. He had wanted to touch her and feel her against him. Surely that had to mean that he liked girls. But what about what had happened with Agron? He hadn't even hesitated when Agron touched him. He had liked it, wanted it immediately. It had been so exciting. Once it began he had craved it, not wanting the feel of Agron's hand on him to stop; not wanting the closeness to stop. And it hadn't, not until after he had come. And even then, Nathan had not wanted to pull away. He had wanted the closeness of the man to remain.

Nathan had heard of guys experimenting, finding out what sex was; finding out about sex with other guys that were curious too; because guys were safer, because guys understood what guys meant. Guys never understood what girls meant. Nathan had to find out what this was about, even if it meant that he was queer. Oh God, don't let him be queer! Mom and Dad would freak out. He could be shunned at school. His soul would rot in Hell, isn't that what the pastor said, being homosexual was wrong?

Tomorrow wouldn't come fast enough. Nathan needed to talk with someone, but whom? Agron had said they could talk. Agron had also said he had so much to teach Nathan. What did he mean? Nathan put down the pillow, got off the bed and took his clothes off. Dried semen was still on his lower belly. He closed his eyes for a moment and again remembered what it felt like to have Agron touching him. His heart raced at the memory of it. Then his eyes flew open. Nathan grabbed a t-shirt and shorts, headed for the bathroom to get showered. He had to wash the evidence away. He had to feel normal again.

**Notes:**

Characters: Nathan Johnson – adoptive family: Samuel 12yrs, Lucas 8 years, Michael and Susan parents (Syrian birth name Nasir Yehyeh Kassab, biological brother Jawhar Kassab)

Agron Salinger – family: Pamela 6 years, Angela & Erik parents (natural mother died of cancer 9 years ago, father remarried)

CYO Hall - Catholic Youth Organization. In the past in small town America before cable TV, cell phones and the internet, people relied on the community and church organizations for entertainment. While public Junior and Senior High school classes often sponsored student dances once a month, church youth organizations also sponsored student dances just as frequently. Since typically there wasn't much else to do, school dances were very popular during the 1950's and 1960's and even up through the 1970's.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 - Uncertainty**

**Summary:**

This is Agron and Nasir's 'what are we gonna do with this' moment of decision; that moment when their hearts beat rapidly, their palms get a bit moist and they wonder if each has the courage to take the leap. _Reminder: Nasir's adoptive name is Nathan._

**Notes**:

The beauty of youth is that life is so immediate; jumping off the cliff often doesn't seem dangerous at all.

Nathan had a restless night, falling in and out of light sleep several times but never really being in a sound sleep. When dawn came he was tired but unable to get back to sleep again. Finally giving in, Nathan decided he needed to run until he dropped. He dressed and headed down to the kitchen where he drank half a quart of orange juice while swallowing half-chewed cold cereal. He put the dish in the sink, grabbed an empty pop bottle, filled it with water and headed out the door.

As soon as his feet hit the pavement, he was glad to running. He didn't have to think when he ran; his mind could be blissfully free of troubles. He ran for miles at a steady familiar pace, finally stopping at the edge of town at Bradigan Falls. Sweat saturated his shirt and pants, even his socks were wet. He drank the water and trotted down the familiar trail to the waterfall, allowing his body time to cool down.

Once he reached the Falls he took in the marvelous sight of the slate rock cavern with a 30 foot wall of cascading water splashing on to the natural slate shelf, the water foamy as it bubbled out of the bowl at the shelf base, worn deep in to the rock. The Falls was protected in a cove of tall trees, dense enough to muffle the roar of the water from the outside world. It felt like a fantasy place, one that Nathan loved intensely and was awed by without fail.

With no hesitation, Nathan pealed off his wet clothes, hung them on a low tree branch to air dry and dove into the cold water. He swam and dove until his energy was depleted. When he had relaxed and was lolling on the water's surface on his back, the sun through the tall branches somehow diminished the severity and fear about what had happened the night before. Nathan was still Nathan; everything felt familiar, the same. He wanted to talk to Agron but what he felt was no longer a desperate need to find an answer. What he felt now was curiosity. For some reason he felt like a part of him trusted Agron. Who was this guy? He wanted to know more.

Nathan walked home enjoying the morning sun on his face. He opened the screen door to the smell of coffee and toasted bread in the air. His parents and brothers had already gone off to church. With sports training, Nathan was sometimes given a reprieve from Sunday morning service, especially during baseball season. Nathan was grateful to have the house himself. He changed his clothes and decided to call Agron.

Nathan retrieved the number from his pants pocket, staring at the block style printing, short, even letters. Finally he dialed and listened to the phone ring two, three, four times. Just as he was getting ready to hang up a high-pitched child's voice said "Hello."

Nathan was taken aback at the sound of the voice. For some reason he had expected that Agron would pick up the phone. Nathan had not imagined Agron living with a family; somehow it seemed odd that there was a small child, a girl, on the other end of the line.

"Hello" the voice said again.

Nathan quickly recovered, identified himself and asked to speak with Agron. The child said that Aggy was her 'big brother' and he had already left for church, he was an altar boy today. The girl and her mother were going too and wouldn't be back until after lunch time which made the little girl a bit contrite as she said she really didn't like it when church made lunch late. Nathan laughed quietly and asked the little girl her name, which turned out to be Pamela but her brother called her Pamey.

"Well Pamey, please let your brother know that Nathan called. I will call him again after lunch." With the message left, Nathan headed back to his room and flopped face down on to his bed, grateful for its familiar feel. Soon he had drifted off to a much appreciated slumber.

Agron had gotten up early and left for church long before his step-mom and little sister were close to being ready to go. He stopped at Kohler's Diner and got himself a cup of coffee (cream, no sugar) and three fresh cake donuts sprinkled lightly with cinnamon and sugar. He really didn't want to talk with anyone. He loved aloneness some times, like this morning when he had thinking to do.

He kept running over and over again in his mind what had happened with Nathan. He had surprised himself with his rash boldness. All he had set out to do was to meet the guy, see what he was like. Agron hadn't meant for there to be anything sexual involved. He just kept running the night over and over again in his head. What had happened that made him make a move so quickly? What about Nathan had made Agron want to, no need touch him so badly?

If he was willing to admit it Agron knew, though, had really known all along that he might jump too fast. Nathan had been haunting his dreams, night and daytime. It was the shape of his broad shoulders, the lean muscle that was so incredibly evident through sweat soaked shirts at ball practice. It was the way he used his hands; long, strong fingers grasping the bat ready to swing or helping to carry equipment into the biology lab. It was his dark, dark eyes and easy smile. Agron wanted that smile and those eyes looking at him.

Agron did not fully understand why his attraction for Nathan was so strong; he hadn't even spent time with him until last night. He just knew that the undeniable tether was there. OK, he had to admit it. He wanted sex with Nathan to be involved, just not yet, not the first time they actually met. You damned fool, he said to himself. He didn't even know your name until last night. What if he had rejected you? What would you have done then, Mr. Cool? Mr. Fool would have been more like it.

But, amazingly, Nathan had not rejected him. Nathan had allowed him to be close, to touch him, to turn him on and make him come. Agron turned his face to the window and closed his eyes against the sun, remembering how it felt to touch Nathan, his scent, Nathan's breath on his neck, Nathan's hands gripping his hips, the aching moan Nathan made when he came. Agron was fully aroused now as he recalled what had happened. Nathan had said that he hadn't been with anyone before, girl or guy. Oh my God, Agron would be Nathan's first lover; some how Agron knew that he would be and he knew this with certainty. But Nathan wouldn't be Agron's first, though he wished he could have been.

Agron dearly wished he could forget about Madeline, so sweet and fragile, and about Tom, who turned out to be jealous, demanding and controlling. Agron had started dating Madeline almost three years ago. Just a few months after they had started dating Madeline was diagnosed with a serious form of leukemia. As the prognoses became dire, Madeline had begged Agron to have sex with her so she could experience making love before anything happened. Finally she had worn down Agron's resistance and they became lovers. They were together three times before Madeline's health became so compromised that her family took her east for experimental care. They wrote letters while she was away but Agron never saw her again. Madeline died a few months later.

Her loss hit Agron very hard. Her death had reopened the grief that he had felt but not understood when his mother died. Agron had been just 9 years old then. His mother's death tore at his father like a vicious animal, leaving him too shattered to care for a young son. For a time, Agron stayed with this uncle and aunt. Agron's dad pulled his life together and brought Agron home ten months later.

Soon there after his father met and married Angela, his step-mother. Agron didn't really feel comfortable with Angela until his little sister Pamela was born. For Agron, it was love at first sight. Pamey was sweet and didn't ask anything more of Agron than he hold her hand and talk to her. Pamey's unconditional love for him had given Agron his shattered heart back.

Then there was Tom. Tom Walton was three years older than Agron and they had met when Agron was dating Madeline. One afternoon Agron's dad had sent him to the hardware store for wood screws. Tom was working; he had an easy smile, struck up a conversation and assisted Agron with selecting the right screws for his dad. Over the course of the next few months Agron saw Tom several times, each time Tom was friendly and conversational.

One evening after Madeline was diagnosed Agron was alone sitting in the park in the center of town, feeling deeply sad and very frightened.

"Hey Bud" a familiar voice entreated and there was Tom ready with a smile and conversation. In short order Agron poured his heart out to Tom, fluctuating from tears to anger. Tom sat and listened, shared his cigarettes and let Agron say what he needed to say. During the next months of Madeline's illness, Tom's had the shoulder that Agron cried on, the one Agron turned to when he needed a laugh and smile.

Tom was the person Agron confided in when Madeline asked that they become lovers. It was Tom who provided Agron with advice on the mechanics of making love as well as assisted Agron with making arrangements to make the liaison a memorable one for Madeline. Agron had never felt so close to another person. Tom always seemed to understand everything.

After Madeline left and even more so after she had died, Agron became an emotional wreck. It was Tom that Agron turned to for support, when he needed to blow off steam and when he was devastated and wanted to just cry. However Agron had not realized that Tom had become emotionally tied to him, wanting to be more than a mentor or a friend.

One night when the two had gone for a drive and were sitting at the lake talking, Tom confided to Agron that he loved him, not just as a friend but in a romantic way and he wanted to be Agron's lover. Agron was overwhelmed at the confession. He knew he trusted Tom with his feelings and believed that Tom understood him better than anyone.

Agron did not pull away that night when Tom kissed him. On the nights that followed Agron also didn't pull away when Tom caressed him. In his grief Agron needed Tom's physical closeness as much as he needed his emotional support. Over the course of the next weeks they became lovers. In the beginning Tom was thoughtful and generous; he was patient with Agron, allowing him to sexually discover himself at his own pace, in his own direction.

As more time went by Tom became jealous of others and uncertain of Agron, wanting to know where he was at all times, wanting Agron to stop playing sports because his teammates would see him naked in the locker room. Over time Tom's jealousy made him become sexually aggressive and sexually demanding until one night, in his anger, Tom became truly violent, beating Agron and attempting to force him to have sex.

Agron managed to escape and avoided Tom for several days, not taking his phone calls, not walking around alone. Agron's dad had noticed the bruises and changes in Agron's behavior; when asked what happened, Agron told him it was just a minor fight with someone and it was over with. No more was said until a week or so later when Tom came to the house.

Tom was highly agitated and insisted that he see Agron. Agron admitted to his dad that Tom was the one who he had fought with. Angry that someone obviously older than Agron had caused him harm, Agron's dad ordered Tom to stay away. If he would not stay away then Agron's father would involve the police as Agron was just 16 and Tom, being past 19, was a legal adult. From Tom's emotional and irrational behavior, Agron's parents knew that there was more to the story than Agron was willing to tell. However at his step-mother's urging his parents' accepted Agron's silence and did not press him.

It had been two years since the altercation with Tom. Agron still saw him around, wondered sometimes if Tom was following him. Hopefully by the end of summer Agron would have saved enough for a car so he could feel safer than when he was out by himself.

Agron opened his eyes and swallowed down the last of his coffee. He had calmed himself down with thoughts of Madeline and Tom but Nathan remained on his mind. He needed to be at church in less than an hour. He couldn't have Nathan on his mind at service because he knew that he would forget his duties; Fr. Matt would get irritated and his step-mom would be embarrassed. Music would help, it always did. Agron pulled his transistor radio from his pocket and turned it on low. Music always helped clear thoughts away. He paid for his breakfast and walked to church with his pocket radio held close to his ear as he hummed along.

Nathan awoke to the smell of something delicious. He looked at the clock and sat up with a start. It was after 3! He had slept for over four hours. Someone was cooking something that made his mouth water. Then he remembered, with his stomach grumbling in confirmation, he hadn't eaten since his early morning run. He rose quickly and headed down to the kitchen to find what was making him so hungry.

His brother Sam was making fruit bread. Sam was a budding chef, all arms and legs at 12 years old and curious about everything. Fortunately he was a pretty good cook and would share his concoctions with his older brother. Nathan chewed down a half loaf and drank two tumblers of milk before his adoptive mother stopped him.

"Dinner is in two hours. Don't ruin your appetite." Then she examined her son's face more closely "You took quite a nap. Are you feeling OK?"

"Sure Mom, I'm fine. Just didn't sleep very well and went for a long run to clear my head early this morning, ran to Bradigan's Falls and it felt great. Guess I caught up on my sleep afterwards."

His mother stroked his cheek and smiled lovingly. Again she looked at him closely and smiled softly "OK" was all she said.

Now that his starvation was temporarily abated, Nathan headed for the front living room for some privacy and the phone. He dialed Agron's number and listened to the rings. This time Agron answered; Nathan certain that it was his voice in his ear even though they hadn't shared more than a total of 20 minutes of conversation.

"Can you talk?" he asked Agron.

"Sure, give me a second to get to the other extension." With that Agron headed to his father's basement workshop for some privacy. Once Pamey had said hello and was persuaded to hang up the upstairs phone, Agron and Nathan could speak without audience. Feeling a bit awkward at first, neither one wanted to be the first to say anything.

Finally Agron spoke "Nathan, about last night..." Silence followed then he began again. "Are you OK with it? I mean OK with what happened? I want you to know I didn't plan it that way."

This time Nathan hesitated, unsure if he should be completely candid or if he should measure his words.

Opting for candor (what the hell) he said "I've been thinking about it ever since. Last night when I got home I was really freaked, scared actually. Nothing like that has ever happened to me before."

Agron responded still hedging a little "Like I said before I'm drawn to you. I'd like us to be friends….Maybe more than friends if that is alright with you. But if the 'more' part isn't OK, that's fine too. Like I said, I find you interesting." Nathan mulled Agron's words over. What did Nathan want? What did Agron mean by 'more than friends?

Deciding that caution was not going to be the rule of the day with a quiet voice Nathan responded "Well…right now, I'm not sure how I feel about anything. Today I'm not scared like I was last night. Today I'm more curious about you than anything else. I know that I really liked the feel of having you close to me….You know how turned on I got when you touched me."

He paused, uncertain if he could or should continue. How were these words tumbling out of his mouth? Where had his brain gone? Hesitatingly Nathan continued on.

"I don't know if I want to give that up….But I don't know you or anything about you. I want us to become friends, to know what you like and what you hate."

Nathan couldn't believe he was saying these things, especially to a guy, to Agron. But Nathan knew that the words were true. Maybe saying them over the phone made it easier. If Agron didn't want the same things that he did at least Nathan wouldn't have to see the rejection and Agron wouldn't see his embarrassment. They could just agree to remain strangers. But Agron's heart had taken a leap.

Trying hard not to sound too excited he slowly said "Nathan, more than anything I want to get to know you too. I don't know why things happened last night. Once we were alone by the garage…being close to you was all that I wanted. The feeling was so strong that it really surprised me….You are the first guy I've ever made a pass at…" For some reason the words just kept tumbling out.

Agron continued "I've watched you at ball practice, at lunch and in the halls. The easy way you have with people is amazing. I am fascinated with you."

Nathan smiled into the phone. He didn't understand why but he was happy to know that Agron was surprised about the strength of their attraction for each other as much as he was. Nathan was also pleased that Agron had not made a pass at a guy before; feeling confused as to why he would be so pleased when Agron was a guy. But there was something powerful about being the first, especially the first at this.

Nathan continued quietly "This has gotten a bit strange….not a bad strange, a good strange I guess…. For some reason it makes me happy to know that I was the first guy you've made a pass at."

There was a moment of silence then Agron asked "Do you want me to be completely honest with you? About whom I have been with?"

Without hesitation on his part Nathan answered "Yes. If we're going to be friends, we will need to answer questions honestly and completely. We shouldn't hold things back."

Agron reached over, turned the basement light off and under the safety of the darkness he replied "Then I will tell you everything, Nathan" surprised by his need not to hold anything back from him.

Agron took a somewhat ragged breath, steadied himself and said "Let me tell you about Madeline, my mother and my little sister and a guy named Tom." For the next hour, Agron spoke of Madeline and the pain of loosing her, Agron's grief over the loss of his mother, his father's re-marriage, Agron's unplanned devotion to his little sister and, finally, part of what had happened between him and Tom.

Nathan listened attentively, asking questions when he felt compelled to. What Agron could not see were the tears that came to Nathan's eyes when Agron spoke of his mother's death and his subsequent separation from his father; this was something that Nathan could not even imagine, the gravity of it was so incomprehensible. Agron could not see the shock and anger on Nathan's face when Agron talked about Tom's violence and brutality. He also could not see the sweet affection on Nathan's face when Agron spoke about Pamey with so much adoration in his voice. Nathan was certain that Agron would do just about anything for the little girl.

When he had finished, with a low voice still raw with emotion Agron said "There, you have the story of me now. You can run if you want." Even though Agron couldn't see, Nathan shook his head side to side in response.

"What you told me was not the story of you. It was telling me about some very sad things and very terrific things that have happened that have deeply affected you. Those things are not the "total" you. You are this good looking guy who has a casual confidence that I wish I had. I've been told you're a smart guy too who doesn't always pay attention in school. And I know you're good at sports 'cause I've seen you play. You look just a bit edgy, not a complete rebel but not a complete conformer either. You love your sister and your parents. And, for some incomprehensible reason, you want me as a friend."

Even in the dark basement Agron's eyes were closed has he listened to Nathan's voice. Agron's heart ached. God only knew why and how much he wanted to be with this guy. He willed himself to take it slow, not scare Nathan away, not to want too much.

Agron swallowed hard against a tight throat. "Thank you" was all he could get out before his voice broke.

Nathan said softly, "Agron, are you alright?"

Agron replied "Yeah, I'm OK. It's just hard to talk about that stuff, especially all at the same time." He took a deep breath and said to Nathan "It's important to me that you wanted to know, that you are willing to listen."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 – Control and Losing It**

**Summary:**

Agron and Nathan have made a good faith effort to become friends, putting their strong attraction to each other on hold until...

SEXUALLY EXPLICIT content – don't continue if this is not what you want to seeNotes:

The feeling of freedom can be such an aphrodisiac; much like this story of the 'boys' has become.  
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

During the next several weeks Nathan and Agron spoke on the phone often, usually every day, and they maintained the routine of meeting at school. Because of the intensity of how their friendship had started, they took each other seriously and they were not judgmental. They had made a pact to always be truthful no matter what; saying what they meant, meaning what they said and saying it without meanness.

At Agron's suggestion and persistence they had also agreed that they would avoid situations where they would be alone for any amount of time, wanting to avoid being overwhelmed by their acknowledged corporeal attraction to each other. This part of their pact was the most difficult to maintain. There were times when the sexual tension between them was almost palpable; often when they were just talking or laughing together or playing hoops when it was natural that they touch it was suddenly unavoidable. Sometimes it would be like an electric shock was jumping between them. They would instantly lock gazes, breathe in the other man's scent; perhaps even feel their own pulse rise. When this occurred they broke away quickly, looking at each other from a safe distance until their urges were under control again.

After a few weeks, and at the persistent prodding of their parents that they be introduced to this new friend who was taking up so much of their son's time, Nathan and Agron decided to meet each other's families. Nathan was quick to establish an easy rapport with Agron's family. He could see why Agron adored Pamey. She was a bundle of endearing energy, fully accepting and engagingly honest. It was also apparent that Pamey loved and trusted her big brother Aggy in all things. Nathan found Agron's step-mother Angela to be a kind and quiet woman. She was somewhat younger than Agron's father, unobtrusively attentive to her family and could be quietly observed singing along with the Billboard Top 40 when she thought she was alone.

Agron's dad was just in his early 40's and worked as a dock foreman at the local Purina plant. He was a hard worker, reminding Nathan of his own dad in many ways. Erik Salinger did cabinet making in his spare time and sometimes on consignment; his work was something to see. Since Mr. Salinger had such a good job it wasn't necessary for Angela to work. Yet Angela did work. She had spent some time in college and wrote a weekly column for the local paper. While Agron didn't bring it up directly he was proud to say Angela was his step-mother.

When Agron met Nathan's family he was surprised and a bit envious to see the controlled chaos that was the Johnson household. Nathan had told Agron that he had been adopted when he was two years old. Nathan's parent's adopted him through the Christian Ministries of their church. No one really talked about him being adopted. He just belonged. His parents treated him just like his brothers (their biological children). Nathan had two younger brothers, Sam who was 12 years old and Lucas who was 8 years old. Nathan's mom Susan worked part-time as a legal secretary and his dad Michael worked as a head mechanic at a large auto body shop. Nathan's brother Sam was a real character, experimenting with everything from cooking to building rockets. He was a bit of a brainiac with a great sense of humor and unflaggingly quick wit that was adroit and razor sharp when Sam wanted it to be.

The youngest of the Johnson clan was Lucas, a typical 8 year old, learning to play team sports, riding his bike everywhere with his friends and taking piano lessons once a week. Even though he sometimes protested, you could hear Lucas practicing piano on his own. Lucas really didn't need any prodding to practice because he really loved music – something that Lucas would discover he and Agron had in common. In the middle of these five people was a mélange of pets: a Heinz 57 dog named Scotty, two grey cats with yellow eyes called Smoke and Cinder because they had been born in the old coal bin in the basement, a tank of guppies and a one-eyed squirrel called Mr. Christopher who lost his eye to an errant BB.

One morning when he arrived at school Agron was driving his step-mother's 1962 Ford Fairlane sedan. Definitely a family car, it still cut a good look with its red body and white roof. Agron had the borrowed the car so that he could drive out to Merritt Farms after school to apply for a seasonal job. His dad had gotten the word that Merritt's was hiring and knew Agron was eager for decent summer employment. Agron invited Nathan along for the after-school excursion. At 2:45 the guys were out of school and headed out to Merritt's. It was a wonderful feeling to be driving along without parents or siblings, just Agron and Nathan together, radio turned up and the window's rolled down.

They got to Merritt's Farm in good time. After they parked, the guys headed for the office located off the main equipment storage barn. Agron did his talking and within short order he had landed himself a farmhand position to run between Memorial Day and Labor Day, five days a week; sometimes six if extra hands were needed. Nathan admired Agron's casual confidence when he watched him talk with Mr. Merritt, explaining his past work experience and the skills his dad had taught him. When Mr. Merritt asked Nathan if he was looking for work too, Nathan was surprised at the inquiry. Nathan declined interest saying that he already had a job at Cave's Market. The pay wasn't as good as Mr. Merritt offered Agron but Mr. Cave was willing to be flexible with the schedule so that Nathan could keep playing baseball on the County Exhibition Team during the summer.

After a handshake to seal the deal, Agron and Nathan headed out. Agron was very excited about the job and potential summer earnings already earmarked for a used 1962 Chevy Nova 4-cylinder sedan, blue inside and out, asking price of under $2,000. Agron already had more than half the money saved. He could get his dream car if his summer job worked out right.

Agron and Nathan left Merritt's Farm filled with excitement. Summer was almost here and they had time to kill before Agron had to be home for dinner. After a brief discussion the guys settled on an excursion to Bradigan's Falls, a place where Agron hadn't been for a few years. Being mid-May the summer warmth was just beginning to filter through. This day the afternoon temperature was an uncommon 76 degrees with no breeze. The radio filled the air with a mixture of Top 40 songs: Satisfaction, Heart Full of Soul, Ticket to Ride and Mr. Tambourine Man. Nathan and Agron tapped out the beat and sometimes even sang along as music filled the air. They reached the Falls and parked along the road by the pasture trail, tall grasses not yet worn down by foot traffic as it would be by the close of July.

Nathan headed out first, practically salivating from the anticipation of sharing one of his favorite places with Agron. Agron followed close behind, both guys laughing and talking as they walked along. They followed the path through the trees and reached the high bank before the drop off to the stream below. Nathan stopped to take in the sight. Leaves were fully formed now and the canopy allowed for ropes of brightness to pierce through, dropping sunlight onto the water in irregular shaped pools. The water level of the stream was almost at it's height being filled by warm spring rains. Instinctively Nathan took Agron by the wrist and led him down the path toward the water. Halfway down the path Agron slowed, pulling Nathan to a stop.

"Let's sit here for a minute" he said, gesturing to a tree trunk lying not far from the path. Nathan was curious at Agron's request so he walked the few steps to the log. He sat and waited for Agron to tell him what was going on.

Agron breathed into the air. "I don't remember this being so peaceful here, beautiful with light and dark everywhere and the sound of the waterfall."

Nathan smiled at his companion's appreciation of the sights surrounding them. He was content to sit back, look and listen for a while. After a few minutes, Nathan's gaze turned to Agron who was now seated next to him. Nathan watched Agron's eyes dart about, his mouth moving as he chewed on a piece of long grass, his hands as he mindlessly twirled the ID bracelet on his left wrist. Watching him this way made Nathan want to reach out and touch him, to lean closer and take in his scent. Turning his eyes back to the surroundings Nathan willed himself into control.

Then Agron asked "Have you ever been behind the waterfall? I've heard that the path there is wide enough to walk on."

Nathan smiled in reply "The path is wide; at least 10 to 12 feet deep at the center and maybe 9 feet high all along the back wall. I've been there lots of times, sometimes just to get away from everything, especially in the summer when there are lots of kids here swimming."

It was Agron's turn to be watching now. The color of Nathan's eyes could be so dark, almost black and then they would have a golden hue when the sunlight hit them. Agron noticed that Nathan's black hair was growing out some and he wondered how Nathan had managed to get his father to agree to it.

Nathan asked "Do you want to see it, behind the Falls I mean? I know the path well. We can go there if you want to."

Agron's face honed in on Nathan's and sent him a brilliant smile "Let's do it!" he said in excitement.

"OK, lets go" Nathan replied.

With Nathan taking the lead he and Agron started to walk back up to the top of the creek bank and then through the trees almost to the stream that fed the Falls. Once they were within about 25 feet of the water's edge, Nathan instructed Agron to follow carefully as they descended down. They climbed diagonally down the dirt face until they were almost at the Falls' edge. There Nathan directed Agron's eyes to a gracefully curved indentation in the rock face next to the water fall. Not being visible from down below, Agron could now see an opening carved into the rock that led behind the sheet of water tumbling over the creek bed's slate edge.

Again taking the lead, Nathan moved along the narrowing of the path and slid behind the curtain of water. He motioned for Agron to follow. Once behind the sheet of water Agron was mesmerized by the sights and the almost lack of sound coming from the water falling freely, forming a liquid wall before him. Not paying close attention to his footing, Agron moved and began to slip on some wet stone. Nathan quickly put his arm around him and pulled Agron to dry ground.

With their bodies pressed close together and their breathing made more rapid by the excitement of the moment, the young men looked intently at each other. Nathan reached out his hand and placed it on to Agron's chest, closing his eyes to better feel the heart beat below his fingers without distraction. Agron's pulse was beating more rapidly now as he felt the warmth of Nathan's hand upon him.

Nathan opened his eyes and with no words spoken between them he guided Agron over to the back wall along the rock face. When they reached Nathan's intended destination, he stopped and, still without speaking, gently put Agron's back against the wall. Following this gesture, Nathan leaned in and laced his arms around Agron's waist, resting his head on Agron's shoulder so he could hold the young man who stood before him. Agron's mind was racing as fast as his pulse. After hesitation Agron gave in to Nathan's embrace. He drew his companion into his arms and exhaled as he relaxed into Nathan. They held each other for awhile, feeling the other person's warmth and listening only to their breathing and the sound of the water.

Nathan's hands began to explore Agron, roaming slowly up his back to lightly stroke his neck and back of his head. Nathan's hands then returned to Agron's back and searched out his waist and the roundness of his cheeks. Agron's breath was coming in soft gasps now in response to Nathan's caress. Nathan's hands had traveled to Agron's sides tracing each rib up to his chest. With this movement Nathan no longer rested his head on Agron's shoulder. Now he moved his face so that he could feel the flesh of Agron's throat and cheek, lowly murmuring Agron's name. A low moan escaped from deep in Agron's throat.

He whispered "We said we weren't going to do this" as his own hands began to search out Nathan's body, no longer able to contain his desire to touch and taste the young man that he embraced in his arms.

"Agron I have no will power left. I have to feel you." Nathan pulled at Agron's shirt, tugging it free from his jeans and slipped his hands underneath so that he could touch the skin he wanted so badly. A sigh escaped Nathan's lips as at last he had contact.

Agron was becoming lost in the sensations of Nathan's hands upon him, more ardent now, wandering and searching. Agron wanted to take him, to possess him, to draw his tongue across every inch of Nathan's body, mark him as his own. But Nathan had said that he was a virgin. He deserved time to discover the direction of his own passion just had Agron had learned with Tom. Agron opened his arms and encircled Nathan's, pulling him in so close that Nathan could no longer move freely.

With a voice filled with raw emotion Agron pleaded "Stop Nathan. Please stop for a minute."

Nathan was breathing heavily now, his cheeks flushed with color as he looked into Agron's eyes as if coming back from a dream.

Agron held Nathan close and whispered "I need to know what you want….how far you want this to go."

Struggling to get his breath under control Agron continued. "I don't want you to walk blindly into this… I care about you too much to chance that we will screw this up and wreck our friendship." Now that he had Nathan's attention Agron relaxed the tightness of his grip so that Nathan could move freely again.

As his breathing slowed Nathan said with a voice that was still thick with emotion "I don't know what it is supposed to be like between two guys… I only know that you are important to me…everyday I look forward to seeing you, talking to you. But when I do see you or hear your voice it is so hard to keep from wanting you close to me… to put my hands on you... and to have your hands on me."

With Nathan's spoken confession Agron leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. Agron could feel his arousal pressed hard against his jeans. When they were close he could feel Nathan was just as turned on. Agron opened his eyes and turned his gaze to Nathan's face.

He asked again "How far do you want this to go? Do you want to just have sex… or do you want us to be together?" Nathan raised his hand and let his lean fingers gently touch Agron's face.

"Oh yes I want sex; I want to feel what I felt at the garage the night we met. I want that again… and I want more." With this Nathan leaned in and placed a kiss on Agron's mouth.

Agron's mind began to detonate. Kisses were intimate, much more personal than just sex and fucking. During these past several weeks they had never kissed, not even come close. For an instant Agron was so terrified he did not move. Then he allowed his lips to respond in kind, but did not let himself press further even as he longed to do so. Yet Nathan knew no restraint. He placed his palms against the sides of Agron's face, his fingers laced together behind Agron's head pulling him in to kiss him again, this time more urgently, this time letting his tongue tease at Agron's lower lip. Agron felt that all of his resistance was leaving him, he was becoming open and barren.

"Nathan please, you're killing me" Agron softly begged.

Nathan's voice was raspy, his body full of desire "Then let me come with you, my skin against yours. Take away wanting this so much that I can't think anymore."

Agron pulled back and searched Nathan's face for confirmation. Nathan's eyes were full of want and need. There was also trust and affection there too. Once affirmation was found, Agron moved to place Nathan against the wall. Surprised at the sudden movement Nathan stood, watched and waited for direction. Agron placed his palms against the wall, one on each side of Nathan's shoulders. With his foot, Agron spread Nathan's feet apart, centering himself between Nathan's legs. He leaned in and kissed Nathan, starting out slowly, savoring the taste and feel of Nathan's lips and his tongue. Without moving his hands Agron's kisses became deeper, more passionate, enticing moans from both of the men as their bodies strained to lean in and touch. Not yet, Agron wouldn't allow full body contact.

Nathan, breathless and gasping from the kisses moaned into Agron's throat "Agron please, I need to touch you."

Nathan reached out and his hands found Agron's stomach as he searched under the shirt he had freed before. His hands trembled as he sought out Agron's belt, then the clasp of his jeans and, at last, the zipper. With palms flat against Agron's body, Nathan's fingers slid down the flesh of his hips and thighs loosening jeans and underwear that held Agron's cock constrained. Agron gasped at the sensation of Nathan's hands upon his skin. Nathan moved his head so that he could watch his own fingers explore Agron's body, stroking the engorged member, watching it tremble at his touch, sliding his fingers between Agron's thighs to caress the sensitive sac waiting there.

Nathan's breath was labored and raspy now, his chest rising and falling with effort. With this Agron could wait no longer. He reached across and divested Nathan of his clothing's restriction and wrapped his hand firmly around Nathan's straining cock. Nathan cried out against Agron's neck, his knees becoming weak. With one hand still on Nathan's length, Agron's free hand grasped Nathan's ass and desperately pulled him in, closing the space between them. Agron began to thrust his hips against Nathan, grasping his own cock in his grip with Nathan's, causing glorious sensation with each thrust. Nathan's hands held onto Agron's hips as he searched for any friction he could find, moaning with each movement, each lust filled grasp. Nathan's teeth grazed Agron's throat and shoulder, searching for the taste of skin, his mouth eagerly feasting.

The sound of Agron's voice broke through Nathan's hunger. "Will you come for me?" he asked.

Nathan could not speak, tying desperately to draw air into his lungs. Nathan's movements had become more frenzied and Agron knew that his end was near. Agron pushed their bodies against the wall, finally allowing full contact with his own hungry mouth seeking out Nathan's as he ground his hips into him to take them to their finish.

Nathan's release was intense, his body trembling, incoherent words tumbling from his bruised lips as his semen pulsed against their stomachs. Agron's finish was just a moment later, pumping his essence to mingle with that which was already shed against his and Nathan's bellies as divine pleasure washed over him, swearing and calling Nathan's name in his release.

When he had finally stopped thrusting and his head began to clear, Agron helped Nathan lower himself to the ground, Agron keeping his body firmly between Nathan's legs to leverage their descent. Once Nathan was seated, Agron knelt before him, resting his forehead on Nathan's shoulder with Nathan doing the same. Their passion had been slowly burning over several weeks. They would take time to savor the bliss of this intimacy so long waited for.

After several minutes, Nathan spoke "I feel drunk, my head is slightly spinning and my body doesn't want to pay attention to my mind. Is sex always this way?"

Agron chuckled softly. "I'm not all that experienced but I'm guessing that if it was always like this people would be doing nothing else."

With that Agron sat down next to Nathan finally willing to relinquish some of the closeness for the sake of his knees on the slate floor. Nathan leaned to his side and rested his head against Agron's shoulder, not wanting the closeness to end just yet either.

A short while later Agron asked "Are you sure that you've never had sex before? You surprised me because you weren't hesitant at all about getting what you wanted from me."

Nathan laughed softly. "I'm sure that I've never had sex before, not unless you count me and my right hand." At this remark Agron jabbed his elbow into Nathan's side.

When the laughter and poking stopped Nathan finished his thought. "Since the night that we met I've been thinking about sex in general and sex with you specifically. I've had a lot of time to think about what turned me on. Every time we talked or when I saw you I watched how you carried yourself, how you moved, how you used your hands. I even watched how you drank and ate and dragged on a cigarette. There is basically nothing about you that doesn't turn me on. So the only real question for me was, when finally given the opportunity, was I going to hold back or let myself follow my instincts."

Agron thought about Nathan's words. He had been scared with Madeline, afraid that he would cause her discomfort of some kind, not fulfill her dreams. And initially he was scared with Tom, afraid that he could not meet Tom's expectations. When Agron had been with Tom it wasn't because Agron wanted him or loved him. He did it because he had needed someone, because Tom had said that he loved Agron and had been supportive of him all of the time through Madeline's illness. Agron had since realized that the biggest reason he was with Tom was out of obligation. That turned out to be such a bad idea; never again. But there had not been any uncertainty or significant reservation with Nathan, certainly not concern in the same way as with Madeline or Tom. Agron's only reservation was that he wanted to give Nathan enough time to discover what he wanted. Agron now smiled to himself. Clearly Nathan knew what he wanted. And Agron was the very fortunate person to be the recipient of that want. How did he ever get so lucky?

Lost in his thoughts, Agron came around with a start when he heard Nathan speak his name.

"Now that we've been together you're bored with me already?"

Agron shook his head and tried to understand what Nathan was talking about.

"I had to say your name three times to get your attention. You were off somewhere else. Clue me in?" entreated Nathan.

Agron wrapped an arm around Nathan's shoulder and said "Just marveling how really terrific your instincts turned out to be." Looking down Nathan noticed how they were both still mostly undressed and covered with drying semen.

"I guess we better get cleaned up and head home. You're probably late getting Angela's car back."

"Holy shit!" was Agron's reply. He jumped up, almost falling over with his jeans still settled below his knees. Scurrying to pull them up as he pulled off his t-shirt. He then soaked his shirt in the cool water of the Falls. He returned to Nathan and pulled him to his feet. With gentle circular motions Agron washed Nathan clean and helped him get his clothing back together, leaning in to plant kisses on Nathan's damp chest and neck once he had finished.

Nathan reached down and retrieved the wet shirt. "Wait" was all he said.

After rinsing off the t-shirt he returned to wash Agron, resisting the returning desire he felt as he watched the water drops lightly coated Agron's chest and stomach making him glisten in the dim light. Nathan kissed Agron's mouth and chest then slowly allowed his tongue to begin ministrations on the nipple he found.

"No you don't" said Agron as he pulled away.

It would be so easy to give in to Nathan again but he had to get the car back. His mind was already racing, trying to think of the excuse he was going to give Angela. Better tell her the truth – well the cleaned-up truth anyway. He and Nathan had stopped at Bradigan's Falls and time got away from them. Anyone who had driven by would have seen the car parked at the edge of the pasture. No sense in telling a different story. The young men finished their last inspection of each other, making certain that there was no lingering evidence on their person of what had happened behind the Falls that afternoon. They left the Falls and Agron got Nathan home and himself home as fast as was possible hoping that the good news of a summer job would soften the fact that he was late with Angela and his dad.

_To Be Continued..._

**Notes**:

Many small towns were part of a centralized school/local government districts which combined several even smaller communities (of say 500 people) into a centralized district (of up to 4000 people). While there were some small businesses (Caves Market in the story), if young people wanted employment they worked at the local farms after school, weekends and during vacations. Most young people didn't have their own cars so during vacations the farmers would bring a large flat-bed truck into the central part of town, pick up workers in the morning (7 am) and drop them off at the end of the day (as late as 7 pm).


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – The Queerness of It All**

**Summary: **Agron and Nathan still trying to understand the nature of what is evolving between them.

SEXUALLY EXPLICIT. M/M. If this is not your thing, please don't read! You've been warned so no hostile comments please.

**Notes:** If you are blessed to fall in love in your late teens or early twenty's there is a kind of blissful anticipation of discovery that spurs courage and trusting openness. Something as slim as a canvas sheet can protect lovers from the outside world even if it is only temporary.

Weeks passed quickly and school was coming to a close, only a few more days of classes and then finals. Everyone was buzzing with excitement. Agron had already begun his job at Merritt's more than a week earlier. The high school baseball season was winding down with the semi-finals over and Nathan's team making it to the finals tournament which had begun this week. Nathan played very well in the semi-finals and was off to a good start in the finals. He was hitting well with his defense at Short Stop was really making him a standout. Even though he was unable to see them, the games were broadcast on the local AM station so Agron heard the play-by-play.

With their busy schedules these past weeks Nathan and Agron had not been able to spend any amount of time together since their side trip to the Falls. They met up at school when they could and spoke on the phone each night. It was strange for both of them as they missed each other's presence even though they had met less than two months earlier. They decided to spend the first available weekend they both had free to go camping. It was planned for the weekend of June 19th; both Nathan and Agron were anxious for the weekend to get here.

The high school baseball team came in 2nd place in the Finals Tournament, loosing the last game in extra innings to Elm Grove by just 2 runs. Nathan was disappointed but not sad. He had too much to look forward to: one more year playing Varsity ball with one more shot at a championship and the weekend together with Agron.

With Angela's car packed and ready to go, the young men headed out to the State Park in the Town of Evangola, less than 30 miles away. They checked in on Friday just before 6pm, found their assigned camp site and got settled in as quickly as they could. Being so early in the summer the Park had few campers so, for the guys it was like being far away from everything and everyone, just what they wanted. Agron and Nathan soon headed off to the lake for a swim full of horseplay and laughter. Just being together was comforting and fun. They could speak about anything and laugh at everything. After swimming they both were famished. Instead of cooking they decided to head out for burgers and fries at a local take-out stand. As they drove up to the stand the smell of the fries cooking was almost too much to bear. With stomachs growling they got their food and sat at one of the outside wooden tables to eat, all of the time with non-stop talking in between bites of food and gulps of soda.

They drove back to the campsite with stomachs sated and the day's excitement seeming to take its toll as Nathan yawned in the passenger seat.

"Now who finds who boring?" chided Agron as he pulled the car into the Park parking lot and turned off the ignition.

It took Nathan a minute to get the reference, then he remembered the comment he had made to Agron when they were at the Falls. He smiled brightly and let his hand touch Agron's on the seat next to him. "In the next twenty years I will probably find out many things about you, but I am certain that boring will never be one of them" he said in a low voice while looking Agron directly in the eyes.

Agron suddenly got chills; Nathan's closeness was at once not close enough and at the same time too close for he had the sudden urge to kiss him full on the mouth and feared to do so out in the open where they could be seen. Nathan deftly raised his hand to rest on Agron's thigh in a gesture of invitation. Agron could feel the heat of Nathan's fingers through his jeans and his heart began to race.

Agron covered Nathan's hand with his own and said "Let's go."

The two quickly left the car and took off running down the grassy walkway to the tent, reaching it in peals of laughter as the sun was contemplating setting, hanging over the lake, painting the sky in shades of orange and blue.

They threw the flaps aside and dove inside the tent, each landing on a sleeping bag to temper the brunt of the impact of hard ground beneath them as they fell. When they had stopped laughing and recovered their breath, each laid silently on his back listening to the other's breathing coupled with the sounds of the campground. It was Nathan who, typically without reserve, reached out first. Nathan extended his hand for Agron to hold as he turned his head to watch Agron's response. Agron reached for Nathan's outstretched hand, grasping it gently in his own; his fingers explored each of Nathan's then he raised Nathan's hand to his lips and kissed the palm.

Nathan rolled over on his side to face Agron and asked "Have you ever slept with someone, I mean spent the entire night with them?"

To this Agron shook his head "No" and added "I'm a bit nervous, maybe even scared a little too."

"Nervous about what?" asked Nathan, his eyes searching Agron's face.

Agron swallowed against a throat that had suddenly become tight; after a few moments he said "This isn't like being overwhelmed at the Falls. This is different. This is planned."

Nathan pondered his words and then it hit him and he understood. He asked "Is this too much like Madeline? Are you regretting this? Do you want to go home?"

Suddenly Agron's full body was turned directly toward Nathan "This is nothing at all like with Maddie. Being with Maddie was something that I did for someone I cared for who was going to die."

Nathan instantly felt regret at bringing up something that was clearly still very hurtful for Agron. "I am so sorry for mentioning her. I didn't mean for you to feel bad." With these words Nathan slid over close to Agron and laid his head against Agron's on the pillow.

Agron said in a low voice "Don't ever think that being with you is anything like it was with Maddie…. or Tom. Being with you, even when we can't see each other much or can't touch each other, is so much more than it was, could ever have been, with either of them." Agron drew his arms around Nathan, holding him desperately close, his voice full of emotion. Nathan returned Agron's embrace, slipping his arm around Agron's waist and moving one leg over Agron's to buttress their embrace.

They held each other for a while without any inclination to move away, absorbing warmth and comfort from each other.

Agron asked "Are you tired? Should we get some sleep?"

In response Nathan raised himself up onto one arm, looking Agron fully in the face. "I don't want to sleep. I want to have sex with you, complete, passionate, exhausting sex."

Agron's eyes became wide and a smile spread across his face. "Do you even know what you are asking for?" he inquired of Nathan.

Nathan slowly covered Agron's mouth with a deep wet kiss, indicating that desire was just beginning and was asking for matching desire from Agron. Agron responded in kind, his own lust rising quickly. With this response, Nathan put his free hand on Agron's chest, pushed and gently broke off their kiss.

"I said that I want it all. And I want it slow and deliberate. I want to look at your body and know what it feels like." As he spoke Nathan's breath was becoming deeper, his eyes more passionate.

Agron looked at him incredulously. "Who are you? Where did you come from?"

Nathan replied "Remember before when I told you that I had thought about sex, especially about sex with you? Well that hasn't changed. I want to know what turns you on. And I want to find out what turns me on."

With that, Nathan began to kiss Agron's neck and throat. He could feel Agron's breath quicken and his cock begin to stiffen beneath the layers of clothing.

Nathan pulled Agron to a sitting position. "I want your clothes off" he implored as he began to unbutton Agron's shirt.

Agron watched his face as Nathan provoked his hands to their work, his mouth and tongue caressing Agron's skin when it was revealed. When Agron was bare-chested Nathan then instructed him to lie back so he could get his shoes and jeans. Agron did as he was told, struggling to control his desire to pull Nathan to him and possess his lover in every way he know how.

Nathan moved his body down over Agron's until he was at his feet. He removed Agron's shoes and socks; then he slid his hands up Agron's legs, stopping at his waist.

"I want to touch you. OK?" he asked, searching Agron's face for confirmation.

Agron shook his head imperceptibly "Yes," totally engrossed watching the young man before him. Nathan's hands were tentative as he lightly stroked Agron's inflamed cock through the fabric of his jeans. Agron involuntarily gasped at the movement and closed his eyes at the sensation Nathan's fingers were administering. Nathan became bolder and unfastened the jean clasp and pulled the heavy metal zipper down. Nathan then leaned in and planted light, breathless kisses on Agron's stomach with his tongue following behind, tasting Agron's skin. Agron reached out stroked Nathan's dark beautiful hair.

"Do you have any idea how turned on I am right now?" he asked Nathan with his voice laced with gasps in response to Nathan's mouth and fingers.

Without removing his mouth from Agron's stomach, Nathan began to unbutton his own shirt, pulling it off as he suddenly needed to feel Agron's skin next to his own.

Once his shirt was gone, Nathan stopped kissing long enough to remove his shoes and unfasten his own jeans. Without removing them, he slowly dragged his body back up against Agron's until they were face to face. The feeling of skin moving against skin was almost more than Agron could bear.

Breathing heavily Nathan said "I'm afraid that if I take your jeans off I will loose all control and this will end too soon. I don't want this to end."

Agron kissed him with so much desire and want, tongues dancing together, nibbling at lips, fingers searching and discovering that they were both breathless when they at last broke away. Agron could wait no longer; he sucked hungrily at Nathan's throat, hands roaming over Nathan's sides, back and found the round cheeks of his ass. Nathan cried out as Agron's rolled his hips into him.

Agron's voice was raw as he moaned into Nathan's ear "I will wait as long as I can. I want you so damned much right now." Agron moved and put Nathan on his back.

With force, Agron's hands quickly divested Nathan of his clothing. Once he had him nude, Agron let out groan from deep within his throat as his hands slid up Nathan's body, caressing his calves, kneading his thighs. Grasping his hips tightly Agron's tongue drew wet circles across Nathan's abdomen, stopping at the base of his fully flushed cock. Then, ever so slowly, Agron drew his warm wet tongue up the length of Nathan, circling the tip as Nathan cried softly. With just a few strokes Agron knew that he could bring Nathan to his finish but that isn't what Nathan said he wanted. Agron continued to move up Nathan's body, pressing flesh against flesh, until he reached Nathan's face again.

He took several moments, stroking Nathan's face with fingers trembling with his own passion as he asked "Nathan, what do you want?"

Nathan shook his head slightly as if attempting to regain rational thought. Nathan implored "I don't know how to satisfy this. I want you so much that I ache. Agron, show me what to do."

Agron was beside himself with uncertainty. He wanted direction from Nathan but Nathan was unable to give it; so Agron quickly reached a decision.

"Promise me that you will say something if there is anything that you don't like or anything that you want more of, OK?" he entreated Nathan. Nathan shook his head in affirmation. Nathan had always been very direct; Agron trusted that he would be again.

With this, Agron proceeded to take Nathan to him letting his own lust be his guide. With Nathan watching intently, Agron removed what remained of his clothing. It was now Agron who wanted to feel the press of flesh against flesh.

With his hands on Nathan's hips, he leaned in and whispered "Roll over" in Nathan's ear.

Nathan instantly complied, his heart racing. Once Nathan was on his stomach, Agron covered Nathan's body with his own, slowly sliding himself up and down so that he could feel the curves and valleys of Nathan's form, the roundness of the cheeks of his ass, the muscled flesh of Nathan's shoulders as he gently rode him from behind. Nathan began to moan and rock in unison as he felt the curve of Agron's erection slide over the valley of his ass, time and again.

"More, touch me more with your cock" Nathan gasped as the smooth skin swept down between his cheeks, the moist tip caressing his testicles.

"Oh God, you feel so good" Nathan purred as he arched his back in response to the movement on his skin, wanting to capture the smooth flesh of Agron's cock and not let it go.

Agron was quickly loosing control of his passion. He wanted to fuck Nathan right then, to feel Nathan's warm tight channel surrounding him as he was fully inside that sweet ass, to feel Nathan come as he slammed against that sensitive bundle of nerves inside. Not this time, he would have to wait for that.

"Now turn back over" Agron urged the man beneath him, his voice thick with want. Agron flipped Nathan back in one swift move. This time Agron was not so cautious when his mouth reached Nathan's cock; this time he took Nathan fully in, sucking, swallowing and stroking until Nathan cried out his name and begged for completion. Not yet. Agron wanted them to come together; he wanted to feel the other man pulse in his hand.

Agron's mouth left Nathan's straining member and turned to the rest of Nathan's wondrous body, loving his taste, his involuntary movement and cries of passion. Agron continued to stroke Nathan's erection, the semen leaking from the tip slicking the strokes. When his mouth reached Nathan's throat, Agron's knees were firmly planted between Nathan's thighs. In natural response, Nathan wrapped his legs around Agron's waist, pulling Agron on to him, not wanting any space left between, and needing skin upon skin, cock upon cock.

Agron then implored Nathan "I need your hand on me, stroke me, make me come."

Nathan reached between the convulsing bodies and found Agron's member. It was so hard and hot to the touch. Nathan groaned as he grasped Agron firmly and stroked him with a sure and quick pace, his own lust rising to unbearable heights with each stroke. Agron was loosing control faster than he had planned. Nathan's legs wrapped tightly around him, thrusting their hips together and Nathan's hand upon him was more than Agron could bear.

"God, Nathan, I can't last any…" Agron's release was hard and intense, pumping semen over Nathan's hand and to both their bellies as he softly cried Nathan's name.

Feeling the pulse of Agron's finish brought Nathan to his own, his heels digging into Agron's lower back as he allowed his body to rock with the rhythm of his climax, his mind lost in the overwhelming sensations throughout his body. When their releases finally ceased, Agron rested on Nathan's chest, his bruised swollen lips caressing Nathan's throat, his tongue tasting the saltiness of Nathan's sweat. Nathan finally released his grip on Agron's softening cock and allowed their stomachs to touch when he pulled his hand free.

"Am I too heavy?" asked Agron, willing to move off of Nathan if it was what he wished. Nathan gently wrapped his arms around his lover, wanting him to stay. Agron and Nathan remained lying together for a while. Finally, with Nathan's prodding about drying semen Agron rolled off, immediately missing the warmth of the closeness when he was free.

Agron asked "Are you OK?"

Nathan chuckled in reply "You asked me that last time. Of course I'm OK. I just had sex with you and it was amazing. Just don't ask me to do anything that requires math or agility, I'm certain that I would fail terribly right now." With this, Nathan pulled at Agron to have him at his side.

Nathan continued "I think sleep is in order now. Let's get up early and wash off in the lake before we eat. OK?"

Agron smiled into the darkness of the moonlit tent.

When he realized that he could see Nathan he exclaimed "Oh my God, the tent flap has been open all of this time! What if someone saw us? Or heard us?"

Nathan replied "Well it's a bit too late to worry about whether or not someone saw us and I'm pretty certain that if they were within 20 feet of the tent they probably heard us."

Agron became very serious and concerned. "Nate, we can get thrown out of the Park if anyone knew about us; maybe even arrested." Nathan became very quiet. He hadn't thought about it that way before. Nathan had been so happy and excited about being with Agron that he no longer thought about what others' would do, and he had not really thought about strangers at all, only his family and the kids at school.

"Can we really get arrested?" he asked Agron.

Agron shook his head 'Yes' in reply and continued his thought "You know that the guys talk shit about other guys, speculate about who might be queer. Usually it's not serious, nobody really gets picked on that I've ever seen. I don't think that they would ever think about us. The guys think you'd have to act girly to be queer. We both play sports well enough, we've both dated girls. But that doesn't mean that the guys wouldn't give us a really hard time if they suspected anything went on between us."

Nathan turned to face Agron. "I've got to ask you a question and I'm not being funny." Nathan hesitated then asked "Are we queer, Agron?"

It was a question that had crossed Agron's mind too, a lot. He didn't have an answer. Every time people talked about guys being queer it was about guys who weren't thought of as being "manly". Someone might even speculate about Nathan's brother Sam because he liked to cook and was more of a brainiac than a guy who would go out for the football team. And both Nathan and Agron liked girls, at least they had before they met each other. Agron didn't know what to make of himself now. He had been attracted to Nathan even before he had actually met him, when he watched him from a distance, and even daydreamed of him. And what about the night that they met when it had become physical as soon as they were alone? What was that all about? Even now, especially now, sexual attraction was always in the room, sometimes quiet sometimes shouting so loud that nothing else could be heard.

After a lot of thought Agron finally said "Nate, I don't know what to make of what goes on between us. You've become my best friend, someone that I trust more than just about everyone else. I like you a lot, you're a cool guy; someone who is fun and smart, good to hang out with. You just _get_ me."

Then he continued "But just the same, there are times that I want you so much that all I want to do is fuck you, over and over again, until I go blind."

Nathan had been watching Agron's face as he thought and as he spoke. Agron's words were a relief. He felt just as Nathan felt, both of them living a peculiar dichotomy of feelings: a friendship that had drawn them in, been instantly easy, natural to accept because it was so instantly familiar and they just seemed to fit together. Then there was this physical-sexual thing between them that was intense and irresistible and, Nathan had to admit, that too felt like it belonged and was as natural as their friendship. Nathan knew of no way to explain what was going on either. But he knew, just as he knew he needed air to breathe, that he needed Agron and now that he was here Nathan wouldn't be without him.

"I feel exactly the same way about you, Agron. You are my best friend. I don't know what I'd do if we couldn't be together anymore."

_**To Be Continued**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – Intimacy**

**Summary: **The more time they spend together the more of themselves they reveal.

SEXUALLY ORIENTED CONVERSATION. M/M. If this is not your thing, please don't read! You've been warned so no hostile comments please.

**Notes:** You never know what feeling safe can allow you to explore and experience. Innocent openness leads the way for naked revelations.

With the tent flap securely closed, Agron and Nathan drifted off to sleep lying close to one another. When the Saturday sun began to rise about 5:30am they were awakened by the sound of woodland birds and animals beginning their day. They pulled on shorts, t-shirts, untied sneakers, grabbed towels and headed for the lake. Their conversation was easy and casual. One of the best things about their friendship is that it was so easy and unforced. They always laughed, not at anything in particular, just happy to be alive.

This morning, unlike most of the other times together, they touched without hesitation, nothing overtly sexual, just comfortable; brushing sand a way from the other's eye, flicking a blade of grass off a shoulder, reaching out to grasp an arm to steady oneself as they walked. They swam and washed off in the lake. On the trek back Agron and Nathan were surprised that they found only one other camper up this early in the morning and acknowledged the camper's presence with a hearty "Hello" and a wave in greeting. They were greeted in return.

With stomachs growling they raced back to the tent, again diving inside and landing on sleeping bags. Once they pulled on dry clothes, Nathan reached out and touched Agron's face. When their eyes met, each smiled at the other. Nathan reached over and kissed Agron sweetly on the mouth, letting his lips convey the affection he was feeling. Agron cupped Nathan's face with his hands and rubbed his stubbled cheek against Nathan's in reply. They pressed their foreheads together and looked into each other's eyes, silent recognition of what was growing between them.

"Food!" was Nathan's next retort.

"Now" was Agron's response. With a burst of energy they headed for the car.

They indulged in a hearty "Truck Driver's Special" at the local diner: three eggs over easy, crispy home fried potatoes, sausage and bacon, pancakes and plenty of coffee all for the bargain price of $2.50 each. It was enough food to last well beyond lunchtime, even if it was only nine in the morning when they flopped back down on their sleeping bags too full to move. They chatted for awhile while breakfast continued to settle. They talked about what to do for the remainder of the day; musing about swimming, maybe seeing if they could find a canoe to go out on the lake, they'd brought a new toy called a Frisbee, so maybe they'd try that out later too.

After a few minutes of silence, Nathan decided that he would ask the questions that had been playing in his mind for a while now, especially since last night.

"Agron what other things can guys do when they have sex? I've heard remarks about 'taking it up the butt.' Can you talk to me what that's about?"

Agron was a bit taken back by the directness of Nathan's question. Though, at second thought, he didn't know why he was surprised. Agron was learning that Nathan was a very direct person; he didn't really hesitate to ask questions about anything he wanted to know. Agron was feeling a bit shy about answering him; they were just hanging out, not making out. It seemed easier to talk about sex when one was heading toward it.

Without looking directly at him, Agron replied "Nathan, I don't know how to put this..." With a moment's hesitation he continued "there are basically two ways for guys to go here. Like we've done, rubbing bodies together, using hands and mouths you can get really turned on and come. You know that can be really, really good, like it is with us." He took a deep breath, searching for the right words. "Or there is actual fucking, up the ass, coming that way."

Nathan looked quizzically at Agron. "Tell me about the actual fucking. What is it like?"

Agron cringed inside as he didn't know if he was ready to talk to Nathan about this, about being the giver or the taker. But Nathan had asked, so he was going to answer the best way he could.

"Fucking is different. It's almost like between a girl and a guy just….. the opening you use is …different." Agron was feeling his face flush and his hands go clammy. He really wanted to do this for Nathan but it was **_HARD_** to talk like this.

His throat suddenly dry he swallowed hard and continued "If you are the giver you have to be careful, patient and give the other guy time to relax so when he takes you in you don't hurt him. But once he's relaxed, it can be pretty amazing for both of you. A guy can come on the inside of his body like you do with your cock but on the inside it can feel totally different." Nathan was listening intently now, totally mesmerized by what Agron was telling him.

"To keep from hurting the other guy you stretch him out using your fingers; when you push inside of him you need some kind of lube to make your fingers and cock slick, to keep things slippery and smooth."

Nathan was watching Agron's face intently. He could see that Agron was feeling uncomfortable but the question needed to be asked "Did Tom teach you about of this?"

Agron was quiet for a moment then, without looking at Nathan, he quietly answered "Yes."

Nathan pulled Agron's face toward him so that he could look him in the eye. "Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable or is it me asking if Tom was your teacher that makes you uncomfortable?"

Agron's eyes grew wide as he responded "Geez Nate, do you have to be so up front about everything? I don't know how you do it. Does anything ever embarrass you?"

Nathan smiled softly and slowly shook his head left to right, "Nothing can embarrass me when it's you. I trust you completely, with everything. But you didn't answer the question: Is it talking about sex or me asking about Tom?"

Taking a deep breath that almost shuttered, Agron answered "Honestly? Your knowing about Tom is harder than just about anything, harder than us talking How To's about sex."

Nathan thought about Agron's response. Finally he asked "Why does me knowing about Tom make you so uncomfortable?"

Still with his voice low Agron answered "Because of how it turned out, letting myself get controlled by him, getting beat up and my parents asking questions."

Again Nathan reached for Agron's face and made Agron look him in the eye "Tom turned out to be a cruel, selfish person, even if he started out to be a kind and generous friend when you needed someone. How were you supposed to know it was gonna turn out that way?"

"Honestly, Agron, I am grateful to Tom for being there when you needed a friend. And I'm grateful that Tom taught you what he did about sex, for both Madeline's sake and for mine too." Nathan reached out and put his hand on Agron's arm, gently stroking his warm skin waiting for Agron's breathing to slow.

After a few minutes Nathan continued "So back to the original question, what do you prefer?"

Agron was suddenly feeling awkward again, not wanting to steer Nathan in any direction. "Nathan, it's not about what I prefer. Right now it's about you figuring out what you want, about what turns you on and gets you off."

Nathan closed his eyes and thought for a few moments. "Last night when we were together, when you had me lay on my stomach and you pressed your body on top of mine. It was so hot, Agron, God, so hot. Feeling your hard-on stroking up against my ass and, touching my balls; there really isn't much that has ever felt so good. It was like you were sending an electrical current right though me. I didn't want you to stop…I wanted more of you but I didn't know what to do or what to ask for."

Nathan's breath hitched at the memory of the sensation, feeling the weight of Agron on him with his flesh warm and moist against his own, the smooth skin of his cock pressed into the cleft of his cheeks. Nathan was getting turned on just at the memory of it, still wanting more of it. Agron was looking at him now feeling totally amazed that Nathan was so open, it didn't seem like he was afraid of anything.

Nathan then asked Agron "Did you bring any, what did you call it, lube?"

Agron was a bit stunned. "No, I didn't think that we'd be going in that direction so soon."

Looking at Agron directly in the eye Nathan replied a bit sheepishly "Do you know where to get some?" Agron was bowled over. Again he thought 'Where did this guy come from?'

The guys continued to talk and plan out their day. They went down by the lake scouting for a canoe to take out and found some rental boats tethered along the shoreline. The sign by the canoes said "For Rent" so the guys searched out who they guessed was the owner and rented one for an hour. It was only just before 10 am; they had the day stretching out before them. The lake was smooth and the sun was still somewhat low in the sky. They talked about fishing, neither one really enjoyed it because there wasn't enough movement to keep their attention. They both liked boating though, preferring manual boats to motorized ones; motors seemed to intrude upon the natural sounds of the water and wind. They chatted about the clearness of the water and the blue of the sky, what aquatic life was in the lake. They talked about childhood fantasies of sailing off in to the world. When their hour was coming to an end, they reminded each other that, if they went out on the lake again, they would need to remember sun tan lotion so they wouldn't burn with the sun's reflection on the water.

Once they had returned the boat and gotten their deposit back, they took a leisurely walk along the water's edge, periodically finding colored sea glass and the occasional shell that wasn't broken into pieces. They found flat rocks and skimmed them against the water in friendly competition. Agron marveled at Nathan's accuracy and control when he threw, years of baseball training and natural talent was evident there. Nathan was becoming a really good Short Stop. At just under 5'9" Nasir's quickness and agility was his certain advantage in baseball. With the sun's illumination, Agron watched Nathan's movements; he marveled at his lean aggressiveness: there was no wasted movement just precision and follow-through. The sun was quickly making it's mark on Nathan's skin, turning him a deep golden brown. God, Agron thought, he's really something to see. Nathan turned and offered Agron a full smile, his eyes full of laughter. Agron's heart jumped.

The temperature was rising against a mild breeze coming off the lake. The sun was expected to crest close to 80 degrees on this beautiful Saturday. During their conversation the guys speculated that the night was going to be clear and mild; the perfect night to build a campfire. Camp fire it was going to be so they bounded up the embankment and headed for the grove of trees to look for firewood.

The footpath of the tree grove was not yet covered with abundant new growth since it was so early in the season. Winter moss remained on the ground dressed with its brownish color, not yet showing the green signs of summer. Leaves already created a full canopy overhead, sheltering out most of the direct sun light. Since the grove was not particularly deep, field lands and campgrounds could be faintly seen through the trees in the ambient light. Nathan and Agron walked along casually looking for dry felled tree branches and smaller trunks that would make good firewood. Agron pointed out several nesting sights, most likely from small animals such as fox and rabbits. When Nathan inquired how he had learned so much about animals, he replied that when he was young he had spent several summers camping with his parents before his mother's death.

Nathan and Agron had not talked about Agron's mother since the first phone conversation back in April. Now Agron spoke in a low, reverent tone and told Nathan quiet stories about his memories of his mother, how she would sing silly songs to him while he bathed, how they would sometimes pretend they were adventurers and wear hats to appear in disguise; how she would just sit next to him, wrap Agron in her arms and he would breathe in her scent which always seemed to be like lilacs and sweet chocolate. He said that she had soft light golden brown hair and blue eyes that always told him that he was loved.

Agron had stopped walking and had closed his eyes with the flood of memories, letting the feelings of a young boy wash over him. Agron did not typically permit himself the luxury and sadness that accompanied remembrance. Nathan stood silently next to him and gently reached out and held Agron's hand, letting his fingers trace small circles across the top. Agron firmly held Nathan's hand in return, as though he needed an anchor to keep him in the present. When Agron opened his eyes, they were bright with unshed tears. Silently Nathan turned and embraced Agron, resting his head on Agron's shoulder. Nathan waited for Agron to decide when he would be ready to talk or move. They stood together for a while, listening to the current sounds of the grove and the past sounds of childhood memories. After a while, Agron nuzzled into Nathan's neck and kissed him there.

"Thank you" was all he said.

"Always" was Nathan's warm reply. With a short hug, the two young men separated and continued on with a lighter conversation and walk through the trees. When they had gathered several thick pieces of dry wood for the fire, they headed back to their campsite.

With a hatchet Agron made short business of cutting the bigger pieces of wood down, with the exception of one large piece. They arranged the wood and kindling in the fire pit for lighting after sundown. Nathan and Agron chatted as they worked, talking of nothing of consequence. Nathan noticed that Agron's eyes still held glimmers of sadness and loss. Once they had finished the task at hand, Nathan took Agron's hand and motioned toward the tent.

"Let's rest awhile before we go out" was all he said. With a slight nod of his head, Agron followed to the tent.

Before they entered, Nathan stopped and, without saying a word, he untied the canvas side flats and raised them to allow the breeze to filter through the tent. Motionless, Agron watched him at his work. Once completed, Nathan again took Agron's hand and they entered the tent, each falling onto the sleeping bags. Silently Nathan removed his sneakers, motioning for Agron to do the same. When finished, they laid their heads back on the pillows. Nathan rolled to his side, facing Agron.

For the first time he spoke quietly yet firmly "Roll over" was all he said, motioning for Agron to move on to his side so that his back was facing Nathan. As Agron did so, Nathan slid in next to him, spooning their bodies together and wrapped his arm around Agron, letting his hand come to rest on Agron's stomach; Nasir pulled Agron in close.

"Umm, you smell good, like sunshine and the woods." Nathan kissed Agron's neck and breathed him in deeply, savoring both the scent and the closeness of his friend and lover.

In what instantly felt like a very long time, Agron fully exhaled, shuttering as he do so. He pulled Nathan's arm in tight around him and covered Nathan's hand with his own as he breathed in deeply and exhaled again. Agron thought "I believe that I might love you Nathan" but said nothing aloud. Again Agron thought 'Where did this guy come from?' He was grateful for Nathan's knowing without words what to do to bring Agron comfort and to let him know that he was understood. Agron was grateful to accept the affection and safety of Nathan's embrace. Their eyes closed and they drifted off contentedly.

**_To Be Continued_**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – Pain and Laughter**

Summary:

Agron begins to reveal that underneath the facade of cool confidence lies pain. Nathan starts to see the world in a different light.

SEXUALLY EXPLICIT. M/M. If this is not your thing, please don't read! You've been warned so no hostile comments please.

Nathan's eyes blinked open and a smile spread across his face. Happiness flowed over him as he felt Agron still in his arms. Pleasantly warm and relaxed from his nap, Nathan watched Agron continue to breathe deeply in his sleep. Slowly Nathan allowed his fingers to feel the taut muscles of Agron's stomach and come to rest on his chest to feel the vibration as air filled Agron's lungs and was released again. Nathan closed his eyes and took in the scent that was Agron's alone. Already he could feel himself becoming aroused. He moved his body slightly closer to Agron's relishing the temptation and the desire he felt.

Nathan couldn't imagine a time more perfect than this; joy, desire, contentedness, safety all wrapped into this one moment. Giving into his emotions, Nathan began to gently nuzzle Agron's neck, his tongue lapping small wet kisses on to the smooth warm skin. Agron quietly moaned in his sleep. Nathan smiled against Agron's shoulder as he let his hands flow ever so lightly along Agron's body, along his chest and his sides as Nathan cautiously slid his body around until he was above Agron, straddling his hips.

"Please tell me you're awake now" whispered Nathan as he ran his tongue along Agron's jaw to his ear.

Agron replied with a soft chuckle. "How long did you think it was gonna take before I realized I wasn't having just a really hot dream?"

"Was it me in your dream or was it someone else who thought you were hot?" teased Nathan, still ministering kisses to Agron's throat and caresses under his t-shirt. Agron, suddenly serious, cupped Nathan's face in his hands to make him still.

Capturing Nathan's eyes with his own he whispered "I've thought of no one else, dreamed of no one else for months now, even before the dance."

Nathan was acutely aware that something had suddenly changed and he searched Agron's face for clues. "Agron, what is it?"

Agron pulled Nathan close. "Nathan I just want you to know how much you mean to me. There is no one else I want. There's no one else I care for."

Nathan gently pulled away just far enough to see Agron's face again. "Agron, what's wrong? I was just teasing about you dreaming of someone else."

Agron closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. "It's just that people don't stay, Nate. Even when you care about them, they don't always stay. When they go, they don't always come back."

Nathan instantly knew that Agron was feeling the weight of too many losses. Nathan moved back in close and rubbed his face against Agron's cheek.

"There is no where I want to be other than with you. You are as important to me as the air I breathe." Agron held Nathan to him for a while, until his anxiety subsided.

When his memories were tightly folded back into their places in his mind Agron sheepishly asked Nathan "I guess that I kind of spoiled the mood, didn't I?"

Nathan chuckled close at Agron's ear "I think that I am realizing that it takes very little of you to get me into 'The Mood.' I think that I'm becoming way too easy a lay where you are concerned" as he rubbed his stiffening cock against Agron's thigh.

As Nathan began to run his hands along Agron's back and firm, round ass he said "I've never been so horny in my entire life. What is it about you that keeps turning me on? Lord, you only have to breathe or look at me and I want to be all over you."

Agron was now laughing at the thought that he was some kind of sexual magnet. He grabbed Nathan's wrists to stop his insistent caresses and quickly pinned him to the bedding. Agron's eyes were now trouble free and his face was joyous.

Nathan looked at him and exhaled "By god, you are beautiful Agron." Agron lowered his head and kissed him, a deeply affectionate kiss, allowing his tongue to play along Nathan's lips.

Without thinking Agron said quietly "I'm starting to love you, Nathan. I'm not quite certain what to do with this. I never expected to fall for a guy." As Nathan registered what Agron was telling him, a smile spread softly across his face. He suddenly felt timid, almost shy. Nathan looked at Agron, eyes searching for something but he did not know what. It was now Agron who was timid and shy as he was held in Nathan's gaze, fearing that he had said too much.

Nathan asked "Wrists please let go." Feeling suddenly awkward, Agron released Nathan from his grip.

"No, don't shy away" Nathan entreated as he reached forward and pulled Agron back to him.

With his eyes focused on Agron's, Nathan said thoughtfully "I don't know what love feels like. I know that there is always an ache in my chest when you aren't around. I know that just the thought of you can calm me when I'm getting crazy. I know that being with you is when I feel like the world is complete. If that's what love is, then I guess I'm the same place you are." They held each other for a moment longer then broke away.

Nathan would not let Agron escape his eyes. "Don't be afraid of this. I'm not" and he kissed him.

"Now, lets go shopping and get food for dinner and 'lube' for tonight. What do you think, should we make a list?" Agron just stared at Nathan's casual boldness. Where did this guy come from?

Nathan and Agron did make a list – at Nathan's insistence. They settled on a menu and maybe even the makings for S'mores or at least marshmallows for roasting. The lube would be up to Agron to choose as he was the one with experience. Agron just shook his head. He knew that he was never going win once Nathan's mind was made up so he may as well not fight it. Maybe this was one of the reasons he had grown to care so much for the dark young man, once Nathan was clear about his answer to what ever the question was he didn't second guess himself, he just knew and expected that others would move along too.

The guys secured the campsite and headed for the car. There was a grocery store five miles or so northeast outside of the Park. Nathan discovered that shopping with Agron was an experience in of itself. To Agron, a grocery store was akin to an amusement park; everything was a sight to behold. No matter what he saw he wanted to touch, taste, sniff or buy. If Agron had had his way they would have bought enough food for dinner for three nights not just one. They found bananas as they walked through the produce section. They found Five Star brand hot dogs at the deli counter for apparently they were Agron's favorite as he would have none other. They also found store-made potato salad so they chose the kind with diced eggs as Nathan loved eggs. Soft hot dog buns came from the bakery. Then there was ketchup and mustard, a small can of Charles Chips, two six-packs of soda and marshmallows to be added to the cart. Surely they had enough food for dinner, snacks and Sunday breakfast.

Agron then said that they needed to head to the cooking isle. Nathan glanced over at him with a puzzling look and asked "Why?"

In a very soft voice close to Nathan's ear he replied "The best thing to use for lube is vegetable oil so we need a small bottle, OK?"

Nathan's face had a look of amazement. "Really, people use vegetable oil? I never would have guessed!" They bumped shoulders, smiled at each other as if they had entered into a secret pack and found what they were looking for. As they continued up the isle toward paper products Nathan draped his arm around Agron's back.

Agron took a step back and quietly said "Remember our conversation last night when we discovered that the tent flap has been open? We've got to be careful and not draw attention to ourselves." Nathan was just now beginning to register how different this was going to be from being with a girl; they really had to keep themselves in check so that no one suspected that they were together, that they cared about each other and that they were intimately, sexually involved.

In a serious and low voice Nathan replied "OK, I'm starting to get it. I won't do anything that makes anyone pay particular attention to you or me." Agron briefly held Nathan by the shoulders and gave him a quick squeeze with his hands to reassure him that everything would be OK. Agron let go and took a half-step away to assure there was space between them as they continued on.

Agron smiled a bright smile at Nathan and said "Let's finish up we've got better things to do than hang out here" wanting desperately to lighten Nathan's suddenly serious face.

They picked up some paper plates, spoons and napkins and were on their way to the checkout when Agron spotted freshly made cake donuts. Agron practically jumped for joy and said he had to have them for breakfast which apparently meant that they needed to get sugar and cinnamon as well. Nathan never thought that a grocery store could be so much fun, even if Agron's careening from thing to thing could give one a neck ache from trying to keep up, it was a bit like watching a tennis match. All Nathan wanted to do was hug Agron but he knew that wasn't possible. Nathan was determined not to let this brief moment of sadness spoil their adventure. He caught Agron's eye and gave him a warm smile to convey his happiness. They cashed out and headed for the car.

On their way to the car Agron spotted an advertisement pinned to the Notice Board just inside the store entrance.

"Shenandoah" was playing at the local Drive-in Theater. "You want to do the Drive-In tonight? 'Shenandoah' is playing at the Lakeview if you want to go." he asked Nathan.

Nathan stopped for a moment and thought. "The show won't start until dark and that's at least 9 or so, right?"

"Yeah, I'm guessing that you're right. Why?"

"Then we probably wouldn't get back to the Park until after 11 pm, and the gates close at 11 so we won't be able to get back into the Park if we go. Though I like the thought of making out in the back seat."

Agron became pensive and said "Yeah, you've got a point about the time. Guess we'll have to see it another time."

Agron winked at Nathan as softly said " Besides, tonight we can make out without the discomfort of a too small back seat."

When they were safely in the car and pulling out of the parking lot, Nathan let his hand stroke the outside of Agron's thigh.

"You're right, I'd rather light the campfire and be with you where we don't have to worry that someone is going to see us if I want to put my arm around you or 'something.'"

Agron gave him a side-ways glance, chuckled low and asked "And what do you mean by 'something'?"

Nathan stroked Agron's thigh again and said "Well, we've got oil now, right? I think that I'm gonna want to put it to good use. You don't have any objections, do you?"

Agron smiled and said "None at all."

_To Be Continued_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 – Connections**

**Summary: **Agron and Nathan discuss future plans and continue to explore.

**Notes**: Allowing someone close enough to share deeply guarded pain is an extension of trust that many can not bring themselves to offer. Sometimes it begins with showing care before one allows themselves to be cared for.

SEXUALLY EXPLICIT. M/M. If this is not your thing, please don't read! You've been warned so no hostile comments please.

They stopped at the gas station to get a bag of ice and got back to the Park around 6pm. It would be another 3 hours until sundown but they were starting to get hungry. So Agron and Nathan went back to the tree grove to look for small branches to be fashioned into skewers for roasting hot dogs and marshmallows. They found several that would do and returned to their tent.

Nathan straightened the site, put the soda on ice and set out the items for their meal as Agron used his hatchet head to strip the bark and nubs off the branches. Nathan watched Agron as he worked with the wood. He could tell by watching the deft movements of Agron's hands working the blade of the hatchet like a carving tool that he had spent time learning and working with his father. Wood appeared to be so familiar to him it was almost as though it was actually part of Agron's hands as he effortlessly maneuvered it, caressed it lightly with the blade, ran his fingers along the grain to check for flaws and bumps.

Nathan thought to himself "He is so beautiful, his face and body so calm, immersed in what he is doing." At this moment Nathan wanted to freeze time so that the weekend would never end; he didn't want to be concerned about what others would think or say if they knew Agron and he were together, that they were a couple. Nathan just wanted to care for the young man he was watching so that Agron would never have to feel the pain of loosing someone again. He just wanted to love him.

Pulling himself from his daydream, he asked "Have you thought about what you're gonna do next year after we graduate?"

Agron looked up, gazed at Nathan with an emerging smile on his face and said "Where did that come from?"

Nathan responded "I was just watching you work with the wood; you're so good at it. So I was wondering if you had any idea what you want to do once you graduate." Agron handed the finished skewers to Nathan to soak in the ice water and proceeded to answer Nathan's question.

"Well, I've thought about going to school at the new community college in Charlestown. I would really like to study engineering but a 4-year school seems to be a bit much for me to ask my parents for. So I thought that I might go to CCC 'cause I can pay for that on my own with my work at Merritt's or any other decent job. I'd study math and physics and see how it goes. If my grades are good enough maybe I can get some scholarships help to finish up."

Nathan just stared at him. Agron had never said anything about being an engineer or going on with school.

Nathan finished with the skewers and sat down next to Agron. "Wow! You've never said anything about this before. Have you talked with your parents about this?" Nathan asked.

"No not yet. I figure that I'll keep my grades up this year, apply to CCC and get the money end together before I talk with them. I figure that if I have my act together then they'll go along with it."

Nathan was a bit puzzled. "Why wouldn't they want you to go to school?"

Agron shook his head "My dad wants me to get a job with him at Purina and work with him at the custom cabinet work. I know that he has a good job and his wood working is beautiful. I just don't think that's what I want for my life, you know." He continued on "But I don't want him to think that I'm not proud of what he does, or that it's not good enough for me. So I figure that I need to have a plan together so that he knows that I'm serious about engineering not just rejecting what he does."

Nathan studied Agron's face and wanted so much to kiss him. He was so thoughtful of his dad and so planful about what he wanted to do. "God," Nathan thought, "you're amazing."

Agron traced his finger along the outer seam of Nathan's jeans. "You know rumor has it that you've been scouted by major league teams and college teams. What are you going to do after graduation?"

Nathan watched Agron's fingers work the seam along his jeans. He looked up to watch Agron's face, which was still focused on the fabric.

"Well, playing ball would be terrific and I'd love that. But I have to be realistic about my chances. Major league ball, even if it's with a farm team, is a very outside chance. I know I'm good but so are a lot of other guys. Plus ball would be only 6 months a year so I'd have to find a job that would take me back every fall and winter and find a cheap place to live; farm team pay really sucks. If I really think I have a shot, then I'll go for it. Right now, I don't know."

Watching Agron's face and his fingers continuing to move along the fabric on Nathan's thigh was starting to get to him. He shook his head a little bit to clear out the thoughts he was having and pressed on.

"What I would really like is to have a shot to play college ball. I've got decent grades; I've made Honor Role every term. I'm not like you though, I don't have any idea about what I'd like to do but a college education would be great. My parents can't afford to send me to a 4-year school so a scholarship would have to be my ticket."

Agron's fingers were definitely getting to get to him; he was having a hard time concentrating on anything but being close to Agron. Nathan reached over and covered Agron's had with his own to stop its ministrations. Agron finally looked up at Nathan with a "Did I do something wrong" look on his face. Nathan couldn't resist; without warning he leaned in and kissed Agron's soft lips, tugging on his lower lip with his teeth, teasing with his tongue for entrance. Agron quietly gasped and returned the kiss while his hands reached up to cup Nathan's face.

Agron broke away and whispered "Just how hungry are you?"

Nathan replied "Food can wait. Let's go." Exchanging quick smiles, they scrambled to their feet and headed for the tent, grabbing and poking at each other, unable to keep their hands to themselves.

Agron and Nathan both knew that they wanted skin and they wanted it quickly. They knelt down on the sleeping bags and immediately started to work at each other's clothing, laughing and cursing at buckles that were reluctant to budge and rude snaps that would not cooperate fast enough. In short order they fell down against the bedding, mouths on each other and hands moving everywhere they could reach, still tearing at unwanted clothing.

In a swift move, Agron pinned Nathan down and gently commanded "Nathan just one minute. Wait." Nathan suddenly ceased progress, his hands frozen mid-movement. He looked up at Agron, panting in his urgency, waiting as requested. Agron looked at Nathan, his eyes taking in the eyes he often searched in for answers, traveling to the mouth he had come to crave and adore.

"Nathan, no matter how much we want to have at each other it can never just be a fuck. I need to know that you are with me and I am with you, no one else … never less." Again a sudden rush of memory in Agron's mind had taken him someplace that Nathan did not know. But Nathan did know Agron well enough to see that he wanted to protect them from something that wasn't good, some experience that had been damaging.

"Agron, no matter what, when we are together we know that it's us. I could never be this comfortable with anyone else. I could never trust anyone else like I trust you. So even if you ever do 'fuck me until you go blind' I'll always know that it is you and me that are here, together." To Nathan's surprise, Agron's eyes brightened and a tear fell.

Nathan asked "Wrists, please." When his hands were free, Nathan cupped Agron's face and kissed his mouth and all planes of his face.

"I don't know what has hurt you but you must know, Agron, I won't do that. What is between us is here, it's real and no one can touch it." Nathan slid his arms around Agron's neck and held him as close as possible.

After a short while, he loosened his hold and began to lavish slow, wet kisses on Agron's neck, murmuring soft words of want and desire, saying his name over and over as he worked his way down to Agron's chest and back to his mouth again.

When they had at last broken away Nathan asked "Agron open your eyes." Agron's eyes opened with a flutter. "I want us to take each other. I want to watch your body move against me, with me, on me…" Agron was watching Nathan intently, a dozen different emotions playing across his face as Nathan spoke.

Finally Nathan stroked his face against Agron's cheek and said quietly "I want to feel you inside of me, part of me. I want you to show me how."

Agron closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. Yes, he would take this love of his with tenderness and desire; let him experience what it was like to be cared for, deeply and honestly. He would teach him about shared passion, about making love. Agron pushed himself up to his knees again.

He held out his hand and quietly said "Come." When the two were again across from each other they removed what was left of each other's clothing, slowly and deliberately, stroking and kissing the skin that each elimination revealed.

When they were nude before one another Agron implored "Come closer" and Nathan brought his body close enough to feel Agron's breath upon him.

Softly Agron beseeched him "Caress me… slowly… hands only" Nathan's breathing was coming faster now as he placed the palms of his hands on Agron's body, moving across the bare flesh that warmed at his touch, becoming moist with a slight sheen of sweat. Nathan's hands traveled across his chest, toying with the brown nipples until they stood firm and upright. He stroked the skin of Agron's stomach and let his fingers tangle in the hair surrounding his cock already firm and erect, gently scratching at the skin but not yet willing to enjoy the trembling organ as it stood before him. He let his fingers swirl over the taunt flesh of hips to the round mounds of Agron's ass, fingertips playing gently down the cleft of the cheeks, soliciting groans from Agron as he played and enticed. Nathan was panting now, so aroused that his own rigid erection was leaking from unsatisfied desire.

Agron said in a voice that begged "Stop now, please."

Nathan looked into Agron's eyes inquiring "Did I do something wrong?"

Agron soothed "God, no, you are perfect, always perfect" as he pulled him in to a kiss full of desire. Holding him securely with one arm, Agron used the other to brace them as he lowered them down to the bedding.

"Do you trust me?" Agron asked.

"With everything" Nathan replied as he licked and sucked at his lover's neck and jaw.

"Oil?" Agron inquired next.

In between kisses Nathan breathed "Next to the pillows."

Agron gently moved to retrieve the bottle. He opened the lid and propped the bottle next to tent wall at his side. Agron then reached in and nuzzled Nathan's neck and ear, nipping lightly to mix desire with the sharpness of his teeth. Nathan moaned and moved his chin to give Agron more access. Agron sucked and nipped, wanting to mark Nathan as his.

"Roll over" Agron said and Nathan smiled in response anticipating the weight of Agron on him. Once Nathan was on his stomach, Agron covered Nathan's body with his own, slowly sliding himself up and down as he did before so that he could feel the curves and valleys of Nathan's form, the roundness of the cheeks of his ass, the muscled flesh of Nathan's shoulders as he gently rode him from behind. Nathan groaned and rocked in unison as he felt the curve of Agron's erection slide over the valley of his ass, down between his cheeks, the moist tip caressing his testicles, time and again.

This time Nathan panted and begged "More, Agron, I want more. I want you with me, inside of me."

"Soon" Agron crooned in his ear, "Soon"

Agron dipped his fingers into the oil, coating them to the hilt. "I'm going to touch you now" he whispered as he separated the cheeks of Nathan's ass and he placed his fingertips against Nathan's opening.

He began to caress the puckered sensitive skin at the mouth of the channel, gently caressing, pressing the soft pads of his fingertips into the flesh. Nathan moved slowly against Agron's fingers, craving the touch. As Agron moved a single finger into the opening, Nathan drew a sharp intake of breath at the invasion, unfamiliar with the sensation. Agron gently massaged him so he could become familiar with the feel of his lover inside. As Nathan's body began to relax he began to move against Agron's hand again. Feeling the muscles ease, Agron inserted a second finger and awaited Nathan's response which came in the form of a moan and continued movement toward Agron's hand.

As Agron let his fingers begin to stretch the opening he slipped his free hand under Nathan's body and eased his hips slightly off the bedding. He began stroking Nathan's inflamed cock as he continued to stretch and probe his channel, preparing him for penetration. Nathan moved his knees under himself and pushed his body up off the bed. His breath was coming in gasps now and he was rocking against both the hand that stroked his cock and the fingers massaging inside of him. Agron moved his fingers to find the desired sensitive spot at Nathan's prostate. Agron could tell when he had found the spot as Nathan cried out at being bombarded with electric erotic sensations that were new and overwhelming.

Agron knew Nathan was close; he stopped stroking Nathan's cock and Nathan hissed "Why?" at the loss of sensation.

Agron replied in a voice that was full of want "So I can fuck you with my cock instead of my hand."

Nathan arched his back, his breath shuttered as he moaned "Yes, yes. I ache, inside of me, now."

Agron slicked his hard, hot cock with oil and positioned himself behind Nathan. With slow deliberate strokes, Agron entered Nathan a few millimeters at a time, taking care not to move too quickly and hurt the man. Nathan's forehead dropped toward the bed as he rocked his hips with Agron's motion, pulling Agron further and further inside, crying and pleading as he felt Agron fill him. When Agron was fully seated and he had the smooth, warm tightness of Nathan around him, the feeling became almost more than he could stand. He had to regain some amount of control or he would come too soon.

Agron stopped stroking and said "Lay down on your side." As Agron was struggling with his own control it was unclear if Nathan could even think at this point. So Agron grasped Nathan tightly around the hips and moved him to his side, making every effort to stay close enough to not pull out. With his one arm wrapped under Nathan's body and around to his chest, Agron began pushing in and pulling back, again and again, crooning softly as he found his rhythm once more. Nathan was with him, moving his hips into Agron's motion as Agron stroked Nathan's cock in time. Nathan groaned and cried out with the stroke of each rhythm.

In short time Nathan's movements became more ardent, demanding more friction, more force which Agron was glad to give.

"Come for me" Agron spoke in a voice raspy and raw.

Nathan reached back to Agron's hip for leverage and pushed himself roughly into Agron's forward movement, slamming the head of Agron's cock up against his most sensitive spot, riding Agron until he came with such intensity that lights appeared behind his eyelids, his essence pulsed out into Agron's hand as his body convulsed. Agron could no longer hold on; once he felt the power of Nathan's climax he finished with his own, deep and intense, unlike anything he had ever experienced, shaking him down to his core. Their bodies rocked in unison with their release. When the movement finally quelled, they each fell back exhausted, chests heaving and bodies fully spent. After several minutes Nathan lifted his hand and stroked Agron's thigh. He turned his head and begged a kiss from his lover who was still flushed and moist from the intensity of their sex.

Nathan chuckled deep in his chest "Well, so that's what fucking is, yeah….I do see what all the fuss has been about."

Agron tentatively asked, "So you're Okay?" Nathan balled up his fist and lightly punched Agron on the thigh that was thrown over his own.

"Was I not vocal enough to convey what I was feeling?" Nathan asked.

Agron then chuckled "Yeah, you were a bit 'vocal' as you put it." He continued "but I am serious, Nathan, are you Okay? A guy's first time can be uncomfortable, especially when he's uncertain as to what to expect." Nathan turned his body so that he could look Agron head on.

"We talked about what to expect. Was there something about how I responded to your body, your touch and" Nathan blinked his eyes slowly, remembering "God, your fingers and your cock inside of me that makes you think that my mind wasn't completely blown away, in a good way; in a very good way?"

Agron started to smile as Nathan continued "Agron you were, are so thoughtful. How could our being together be anything but amazing?"

A wide smile crept across Agron's face, unable to contain his happiness. "Oh, you liked that, did you? Amazing am I?" Nathan playfully balked at the smugness contained in Agron's remark.

With this Nathan began poking and tickling Agron, saying "Don't start thinking that you're some kind of sex god just because you had me and I liked it. Remember, I'm a rookie. I may not be a very good judge you know!" This time it was Nathan who had Agron pinned down with his hands close to his sides. Nathan began to kiss and nibble at Agron's jaw, pulling his body over Agron's, pressing onto the still warm skin and drying semen, rubbing their hips together.

"OK, OK, I give!" Agron cried. "I'm not an amazing sex god. You're the amazing one, it was all you! Now, please stop before we die of exhaustion and starvation, and all they find is our withered corpse, frozen in a last embrace."

Nathan couldn't hold back anymore, laughing at Agron's plea until tears were leaking from the corners of his eyes.

"Yeah, I agree that we need food, at least I need food so I can have at you again." He rolled over and found a t-shirt to clean himself off with. He made quick work of it and motioned for Agron to sit up so he could clean Agron off as well. As he rubbed the last remnants of their passion onto the soft fabric of the shirt, he snaked his arm around Agron's neck, pulling him in close. Taking his free hand he smoothed down Agron's tousled, damp hair. Unable to make the dark blonde hair presentable, Nathan settled for a sweet kiss of affection on Agron's lips.

"Clothes!" Nathan urged.

"Food!" Agron replied.

They dressed quickly and headed out of the tent together.

**_To Be Continued_**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 – Five Stars **

**Summary:**Dinner at a campfire under the stars; talk of music and adoption and love.

SEXUALLY EXPLICIT. M/M. If this is not your thing, please don't read! You've been warned so no hostile comments please.

* * *

Agron and Nathan decided straight away that they needed to get the campfire going as fast as possible – although neither was above diving into the chips and potato salad while the fire got going. The wood kindling started quickly and, fortunately, the center log was dry so it would catch pretty quickly as well. Nathan grabbed sodas, chips, salad and spoons and settled himself against a large boulder at the edge of their campsite a few feet from the fire pit. Unceremoniously he held out a spoon to Agron and offered up the deli container – Agron could either spoon directly out of the container or get himself a plate, Nathan wasn't picky. Nathan had been making himself busy munching on chips and opening the soda as Agron flopped down next to him and spooned some salad into his mouth.

"You know how the first bite is always the best when you're really hungry?" he asked before he chewed, not really expecting an answer. Nathan bobbed his head up and down in response, not wanting to stop his own chewing long enough to reply.

After each had gulped down a variety of bites so that their immediate hunger was under control, they simultaneously exhaled, leaned back against the boulder, content to wait for the fire to take hold. The fragrance of the wood burning was beginning to fill the air. By the station of the sun low on the horizon Agron guessed that it was probably coming up on 8 o'clock.

Agron sighed and said "I don't want to fill up on this stuff. It's good but just wait until you taste the Five Stars, you'll be amazed."

Nathan a bit absently asked "What is your favorite way to make a hot dog? Mine is loaded, ketchup, mustard, pickles and onions."

Agron implored "Why didn't you say something, we could have gotten pickles and onions."

Nathan smiled at him and said "Because you said these hot dogs were the best and I figured that I didn't need more than ketchup and mustard. We'll see if I regret that decision." Agron responded by deliberately setting down his soda and tackling Nathan to the ground, both guys laughing as Agron proceeded to tickle and poke until Nathan breathlessly cried "Uncle!"

When Agron had finally stopped the torture, the two just smiled at each other, enjoying the unencumbered closeness of the moment. Nathan reached up and gently stroked Agron's cheek thinking to himself how much he loved Agron's face, the feel of his skin.

Still gazing at Agron's face Nathan said "This will always be the most important weekend of my life. Nothing else will ever come close to this." Agron felt as though his chest would burst from the all encompassing feeling it held.

"No matter what happens, Nate, we must always find our way back to one another. Even as old men, we need to do this; we must do this."

Nathan frowned slightly "I hate the thought of us not always being together. But I promise, Agron, that no matter what happens in my life, I will always look for you to be in it somehow." Nathan kissed Agron;s softly full lips, a kiss that was true and endearing.

Then he smiled at Agron and said "The skewers have drained pretty well by now, let's roast dogs, OK?"

Agron returned his smile and shook his head in agreement. "I'm telling you, these are gonna be the best hot dogs you've ever eaten."

"I'm certain that they will." And with that remark Nathan disengaged himself from Agron's embrace and got to his feet.

He held out his hand and said "Come." As always Agron took his hand and followed.

Per Agron's recommendation, they skewered the hot dogs lengthwise on the wood. The fire was still in its early stages of development, but fire is fire when you're hungry and want to eat. The guys held skewers, two apiece, off to the side of the fire so not to over cook the meat. In short order the roasting was done and they settled down to indulge. Agron was right; they were the best hot dogs Nathan had ever eaten: plump, so juicy that the casing had split open and just enough browning to let you know they were cooked over a fire. As the sun dipped closer to the horizon the guys were sitting back against the boulder again, full and content, sipping ice cold soda and continuing to munch on remnants.

"You know this is probably going to be our last night together for awhile. Is there anything in particular that you want to do?" Nathan asked.

Agron thought for some moments "Honestly, I'd just like to sit here with you, watch the fire and talk, if that's OK with you."

Agron continued "I'm going to get a sweatshirt from the tent, do you want anything while I'm up?" Agron stood up and paused by the fire, looking at Nathan and waiting for his response.

"Nothing for me, thanks anyway." Nathan replied as he watched Agron go.

Did Agron have any idea how really good looking he was? He stood at least six feet and his body was muscled but not bulky. His hands were amazingly slim for a man his size with the nails well trimmed and skin soft for, just has his father did, Agron was particular about putting on hand lotion every time he cleaned up after work. The sight of Agron's hands always turned Nathan on, both their beauty and the almost elegance in how he used them. The movement of Agron's body always exuded a kind of casual confidence, a certain masculinity, natural and unforced.

And what could be said about Agron's face. One could almost call his mouth pretty – though Nathan didn't think that he'd ever tell Agron that. His lips were softly full and well shaped so any woman would have been grateful for them. He had a well defined jaw that wasn't overly chiseled, a straight fine nose, beautiful sea-green eyes that changed color with his mood. Today he had a well established five-o'clock shadow – well more than a shadow because he hadn't shaved since Friday morning. And how Nathan loved to watch Agron's body move with its understated power; he could watch him for hours when he had the chance.

Agron came back in just minute carrying sweatshirts and his transistor radio. Ah, Agron, his radio and his music; he'd listen to it even in his sleep if no one minded. Nathan had observed Agron in deep conversation with Lucas about what Lucas was practicing or some other piece that they wanted each other's opinion on. Nathan was a bit surprised to learn that Agron's musical knowledge was significantly more extensive than the average teenager. He new classical music well and some jazz too (which Nathan had to admit he failed to understand what the appeal of jazz was all about).

"If it's OK with you I thought we'd have some music." Agron said. "There's a station that plays classical music on Saturday nights that I listen to sometimes" as he attempted to tune the radio in. Finally with pulling up and re-directing the antenna he was successful at finding what he wanted and set the volume low.

Nathan looked up with a quizzical look on his face and asked "You really love music. Is there a reason why you don't play an instrument?"

Agron returned Nathan's gaze and said "I do or did actually. I learned piano before my mom died and still sometimes play the organ at church when they can't get anyone else."

Agron adjusted himself against the boulder and continued on. "In elementary school and Junior High I would practice at school. I don't practice now because I don't have access to a piano anymore so I'm kind of rusty."

Nathan was staring with his mouth hanging open just a little bit, imagining Agron's sensuous fingers on piano keys.

"Why is it that I don't know this about you?" Nathan asked as he shook his head incredulously.

"I don't know, Nate. Lucas and I talk about piano and different kinds of music whenever I see him. I guess I just figured that you knew this, that you know everything about me."

Nathan reached out and pulled Agron's face in close and nuzzled Agron with his nose. "I'm guessing, Mr. Salinger, that there are lots of things about you that I don't know. But it's OK. I've got nothing but time to find them out." Agron smiled and kissed Nathan's mouth softly.

After a while Agron went on with his thoughts. "The piano was my mom's. It was a dark wood upright. She played and gave lessons. People have told me that she was a really good pianist. Some of my earliest memories of her are sitting on her lap as she played a tune on the piano, sometimes with only one hand, usually just the melody, and she sang to me."

Nathan inquired "What happened to the piano?" Nathan could feel Agron's body stiffen slightly.

"When I was living with my aunt and uncle my dad sold it. A long time later when I asked about it he said that he couldn't keep it around because it reminded him too much of her." Nathan wrapped his arm around Agron's waist and stroked his side. He couldn't imagine what Agron's type of loss felt like.

They were silent for a while and Agron asked "How do you feel about being adopted? Do you ever miss your other family?" Nathan conveyed that he had no memories of his 'other' biological family so he never felt absent of them. His earliest memories were of the family he had now.

"Sure I wonder about it, about them sometimes, especially when the Middle East is in the news."

It was Agron's turn to be surprised. "Why the Middle East? Is that where your other family came from?"

Nathan laced his fingers through Agron's. "Agron I wasn't born here. I was born in Syria."

"Why don't I know that? I should really know that!" Agron said with surprise with his voice. He pulled slightly away from Nathan and turned his body to face him.

"Tell me" was all he said.

Nathan sighed. "There really isn't much to tell. I know that I was born in Syria and that my family was all killed except me and an older brother. The Red Cross took care of us. I was only two when Mom and Dad adopted me."

"You have a brother?" Agron implored.

"Yes I did have one, but I don't know anything about him, if he's still alive or where he is. My parents told me that if I ever want to know more that I can contact the International Red Cross and they could probably help me."

Agron was incredulous, almost accusatory. "And you never wanted to know more? Goodness, Nathan, you may have a brother out there some where. Aren't you at least a little curious?"

Nathan was taken aback by Agron's emotional reaction. "Agron I have a family. I have parents and two brothers here with me, that I live with and see everyday. There was no other family to take me in, or us in, when everyone in Syria died. That's how I ended up here."

Agron was quiet for a short time. "I'm sorry that I reacted so strongly. It's just that I remember my mom; it still hurts to have her gone. If I could get any piece of her back I would." Nathan looked into Agron's eyes, he could see the pain of loss that still lingered there and couldn't be upset with Agron's response.

"Maybe one day I will want to find out more about that life and the other family in Syria. But Agron, my family is here. I never want my parents or brothers to ever think that I don't love them or that they are less than my 'real' family. They are my family, Agron. If I lost them I don't know what I'd do." Again, they were quiet for a while. Agron had slid his body back next to Nathan's side and, this time, he moved his arm around Nathan's waist.

Finally Agron asked "Did you have another name before you were adopted, a Syrian name?"

Nathan replied in a quiet, thoughtful voice "Yes. I have two birth certificates. The Syrian one has my name as _Nasir Yehyeh Kassab_. The American certificate of adoption has my name as Nathan John Johnson. Having John as a middle name when my last name is Johnson is kind of weird but my parents said that Nasir Yehyeh translates into Nathan John, after the apostle. The Red Cross said that my Syrian family was Christian, not Muslim."

"Nasir, I like that name; it kind of rolls off your tongue. I think that I'd like to call you Nasir when it's private, just us. Is that OK with you?" Agron asked.

After some thought Nathan replied "No one has ever called me by that name. You'll have to let me think about it. Alright?"

Agron hugged him and said "Let me know."

Low music wafted through the air combining with a clear sky and light from the moon's last quarter to make the night seem timeless. Nathan had pressed his back into Agron's chest as they sat watching the fire burn, continuing to talk of both the past and the future. A particularly lush and what felt like passionate piece of music played on the radio.

Nathan asked "What's this music?"

Agron answered "It's written by Giacomo Puccini. He was my mother's favorite composer."

Nathan continued to listen to the music for a while, letting it get under his skin. "What is it about? It seems so, I don't know, emotional."

Agron smiled to himself. "Yeah, it is emotional. The music is from 'La Boheme,' an Italian opera. The story is about some young people living in Paris without much food or money. They struggle to stay alive and one of the characters, Mimi, dies."

"Do you listen to this music to stay close to you mom?" Nathan asked. He felt a hitch in Agron's breathing before he answered.

"Yeah, to begin with I listened to it because of my mom. Now, I just like it. Even if I don't know the story behind the music, I love the complexity, the flow, how there is a beginning, middle and end to each composition. I like listening most when it's just the music, without the words."

This time Nathan smiled to himself. "Agron, do you realize that you are really a bit of a geek, you just don't look like one. You want to be an engineer and you like classical music. Most kids I know want to listen to rock 'n roll and just have fun."

Agron chuckled at Nathan's description. "So I'm a bit of a geek, eah? What do you mean that I don't look like one? What's a geek supposed to look like?" Now Nathan turned himself and knelt, straddling Agron's lap so he could look at him.

"Well, you are good looking, handsome actually, a bit edgy, athletic, you're already tanned from the farm…." Describing Agron to Agron was starting to turn Nathan on. His fingers began to caress Agron's hands as he continued to speak.

"You have these amazing hands; I love to watch the way you move them; when you were making the skewers it was like you were making sculpture." Then Nathan let his fingers move up Agron's arms to his chest, neck and face.

"Do you realize that you are beautiful? I was thinking about this when you went to the tent before. I can loose all concept of time watching you move, watching your face, watching your mouth." Nathan began to kiss Agron's lips and face. Agron was becoming quickly overwhelmed.

Agron asked "Nathan, do you have any inhibitions at all?"

Nathan stopped kissing and looked at him. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Agron continued "You always say what you are thinking; it seems like you always act on your feelings."

A smile crossed Nathan's face "Only when I'm with you. I don't keep any guard up when I'm with you; especially if we're alone."

Agron sighed and embraced Nathan close to him saying "No one has ever been as open with me as you are. No one has ever been so honest." Now it was Agron that was tenderly touching Nathan, looking into his dark, dark eyes.

"I'm going to let myself be you, to say what comes to mind without reservation." Agron took in a deep breath and exhaled, as if he was letting go of the moorings that kept him attached to land.

"Do you know what I see when I see you? There is fearlessness in you, like you'd be that 15th century guy to set sail across unknown oceans and not be scared at all…"

Agron kissed Nathan's forehead and continued "it's like you are that warrior who inspired the troops to fight against horrible odds and actually won." Nathan smiled at the description, not agreeing but enjoying the idea that Agron saw him that way.

Agron placed his hand on Nathan's chest and breathed. "Everything that you are, that you feel is right here. I don't have to second guess you because you just put it out there for me to see. You have so much more courage than me." Nathan looked at him and kissed him tenderly.

"Agron, I'm not courageous. I just have no reason to doubt. I know that kind of person you are, I can tell by how you love and by what is important to you. I know with certainty that one day something will happen and I'll need your strength to help me through it. But I'm not scared because I know that you'll be there, that you'll come to me no matter what." Agron was astonished that Nathan had such faith, was so certain of him. Agron held Nathan close, wanting to meld their bodies together, never to be separate, and never to be without him.

Agron nuzzled his face into Nathan's neck; his voice broke when he said "I will love you always, never doubt this."

Nathan replied "Never."

_To Be Continued_


End file.
